Live Through the Pain - Kagehina Angst

Chapter two - Kageyama

       
         Amazing isn't it, how deeply we can love someone? How our emotions compeletely control us when it comes to that one, certain human being. Its terrifying, yet enthralling. And every time it's different. Sometimes you slowly start to notice and see someone in a different way, sometimes from the get-go you are already head over heels for them. But at the same time, it's not what you expect. Life isn't a disney movie after all, rejection hurts. The idea of soulmates and all that, I'm not quite sure what to beleive. I mean, what do I know, I'm just another young crazy person living in this confusing, contradicting reality. I don't think you should really pay mind to what I say, these thoughts don't mean anything after all, they're just the things I'm too scared to say out loud.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kageyama POV

I loved that little ball of sunshine, no doubt about it. And now that we were dating, I couldn't have been happier. I remembered when I had first realized I liked him. I used to be so oblivious it was painful. For a while, I remembered wondering why I got so jealous when Hinata hung out with other people. I remembered wondering why my chest hurt when he smiled. Needless to say, it was confusing. But finally my dumbass brain figured it out. But even after that, I kept contradicting myself. The war inside me raged on, until finally one day, I managed to speak my thoughts aloud to him, which ended in our first kiss. I didn't sleep that night out of pure happiness. And after that, everything felt like a fairytale or a movie. All too good to be true. I was constantly afraid that I would screw things up. Constantly afraid that out of the blue, he would leave me. I wasn't good with affection after all.

But still, I couldn't help but feel happy around the littl red ten. Hinata made me happy, just by being there. It scared me a lttle, if I was being perfectly honest. It scared me how much he affected me. But maybe for once I didn't have to worry so much. It was Hinata after all, I knew I could trust him. But our relationship was so new. I was afraid I would ruin it before it even began. In all honesty, I wasn't sure I deserved him. He was so perfect. The way his smile lighted up the room, the driving force he brought to each game, the small golden flecks in his caramel eyes, they enthralled me to no end. The way he called my name for a set, the way he  stretched like a cat when he was tired, I couldn't help but feel that maybe it was all a dream, and soon I would wake up and it will all have never happened.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hinata POV

I smiled at Kageyama, we were sitting on the roof, during lunch. "What are you smiling at dumbass." he said looking over at me. "Heh, sorry Kageyama." I replied, not sorry at all.

Everything about him made me so happy. From his dark hair and eyes, to his burning passion for volleyball, and his honesty. The way he walked and talked with confidance, the cute little pout he made when he didn't understand something (homework), the happiness in his eyes after scoring a point, the fire in his eyes as he rose to greet any challenge. Even the way he called me "dumbass" made me want to smile. I was honestly releived by the fact that even though he was my boyfriend, he never lost his competitive flare, even against me. He never softened the serves during practice, even when us two were practicing receives. Being in a reationship didn't change his personality, he remained compeletely true to himself. And honestly, I loved that about him.

There was no doubt about it, I was hopelessly in love with Tobio Kageyama.

I just hoped he loved me with the same way.

"Why are you staring off into space dumbass?" His voice cut through my thoughts. "Christ, you face is gonna hurt if you keep smiling like that."
"O-oh sorry." I said snapping out of my thoughts.
"Boke." I heard him mutter under his breath making me smile slightly again.