troubled | e.d.

fifteen

tessa

i don't know if he was going to kiss me, but it sure felt like it.

so i ran. embarrassing, i know.

i just didn't know what to do. the deep talks and the vulnerability made me want to kiss him back if he ever made a move, but at the same time i realized that getting involved with ethan means getting involved with his past.

and i don't know if i'm for that.

and plus, he probably wasn't even going to kiss me. i'm just being dramatic and overthinking things like usual. but still, my hand shakes as i pour coffee when i see him walk through the doors, eyes on his phone.

he looks up before i can debate on whether i should hide behind the wall, and he smiles. i smile back weakly, trying not to make it look like i was just about to run from him.

instead of heading for mary-anne's office to get his daily tasks, he swings into the coffee bar and leans against the counter.

"make this quick, whatever it is," i warn, hearing my dad's voice echo through the halls, getting closer.

"oh," he takes a step back. "i just wanted to say hi."

for a criminal, he's a real softie.

before i can think of a response or even just a simple hello, my father walks past us, takes a double look, and then sighs as he backtracks.

ethan looks accepting of his defeat as my dad's hand clamps on his shoulder, shaking it a little.

"ethan. good morning."

"good morning, richard," ethan says through clenched teeth.

i stifle my laugh as my dad looks down at him with a fake, clearly fed up smile. "where should you be at this moment?"

"up your ass and to the left?" he answers with sarcastic cheerfulness.

his once bright eyes are now dim. "go, ethan."

ethan sends me a smirk before turning and walking away to mary-anne's office.

i gulp as i wait for my lecture.

"tessa—" he begins to sigh.

"i'm sorry, okay?" i grumble out, grabbing the coffee pot to fill a couple more cups.

"actions speak louder than words. stay away," he warns in a low voice with a firm finger, then spins on his heel and continues down the hall.

he keeps telling me to, but will i ever?

probably not.

there's something very unavoidable about ethan's presence. when you see him, it's hard not to talk to him.

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at lunch, i look for my dad but don't see him anywhere. or mary-anne.

so i take my lunch to daryl's office and peek my head in. he's holding the phone to his ear, but not speaking. he notices me, then motions me in.