troubled | e.d.

thirty-six

tessa

"tess, stop," my dad swats my hand away from one of the large pizza boxes, and i frown. "we'll eat in a bit. just wait for ethan."

"just wait for ethan," i mock in my rendition of his deep, annoying voice.

he fails to hide the smile on his face as he grabs some cups from the cupboard, and says, "thought you would be the one all about waiting til he gets here?"

i shrug and eye the pizza boxes again. "we're on that level where we're no longer polite to each other. now it's just insults."

"that's not true."

"you're right," i smile. "it's not. he doesn't insult me."

"that's the bare minimum, don't forget it," he points a stern finger at me and takes down some plates. "never stop remembering your worth."

"dad... ethan treats me really well," i remind him.

he sighs. "how do you know? he's your first relationship— to my knowledge, at least— so how do you know he's good to you if you don't have something to compare it to?"

"i just know."

"how?"

"our relationship is private. i'm not telling you any more than that."

"tess, please," he says. "i invited him over because i want to see how—"

the doorbell rings, causing me to jump from my uncomfortable situation and run to the front door. when i swing it open, ethan hurries in quickly, glancing over his shoulder.

"why're you so freaked out?" i laugh and close the door.

"there's a really big dog outside that escaped from your neighbor's lawn," he says, eyes wide as he bends down to take off his shoes.

"ah," i nod. "that would be matcha— the doberman."

ethan laughs a little standing back up and bringing me in for a hug. i look to make sure my dad is still in the kitchen before returning it.

he smells good— like always— and when i pull back i scan his outfit.

it's casual. some black pants rolled up a little at the ends, plain white t shirt, and a blue and white flannel.

it makes me glad that he didn't overdress, because that would mean he's overthinking.

his eyes light up as he takes a step back and looks down at me, then back up to my face. "you look so pretty!" he says quietly.

i wrinkle my nose and stare down at the ripped jeans i've had for years and a random dark green hawaii crewneck that i got on a vacation last year.

"really?" i ask, confused and skeptical.

"duh, of course," he mumbles and ducks down to kiss me. just as our lips are about to brush, i hear my dad's footsteps and literally fling him off of me, looking innocent as he rounds the corner.

ethan's eyes are wide, shocked, as he lands against the wall and laughs. "wow... never had that reaction before. you're strong, you know that?"

"should we eat pizza? let's go eat pizza," i decide quickly and start to head for the kitchen.

i think quite possibly the worst thing that i can think of is my hyper-catholic dad seeing ethan— the guy he still really doesn't even approve of— show me any sort of affection. plus, it makes me uncomfortable to even think about.

i push past my dad, who's also giving me weird looks. in the kitchen, i hum and grab three plates, passing each one to both of them.

"i got pineapple, but i'm too afraid to open it and see the monstrosity," my dad admits half-jokingly.

ethan laughs, and reaches an arm over me to open the pizza box. i quickly duck out from under it, almost hitting my head on the granite countertop.

"what's wrong with you?" he side eyes me nervously, but there's some teasing in his voice.

"absolutely nothing," i smile, my eyes traveling to my dad then snapping back to him.

then his face shows some recognition and relief floods his eyes. "ohhh, okay."

"what?" my father looks between the two of us.

"you ever take off the tie or is it just sewn into your neck?" ethan asks, thankfully changing the subject.

my dad looks down at his dark grey tie from work, then looks like he wants to be annoyed, but ends up chuckling a little instead.

"shove your mouth with your gross pineapple shit, dolan."

"you got it, sir," he replies and whistles a little as he plucks two pieces of pizza from his box. i take one cheese, and one pineapple— just to see what it's like.

when we sit down, my dad starts asking ethan about something he had to do with mary-anne today, and i tune it out because it sounds boring.

i force myself to take a bite of the pineapple pizza, then after swallowing it i shake my head and put it on ethan's plate. he looks down at it, laughs, then faces back up to me.

"don't like it?"

i wrinkle my nose. "no. it's too indecisive. it's salty, then sweet. like, pick a side."

"i think that's the glory of it," he replies matter-of-factly and picks up a slice, biting off the corner tip.

my dad clears his throat and fixes his attention on me. "tess, did you register into all your classes for the fall?"

"yep," i sigh out. "have my schedule all done. i move in on the 20th."

"that's less than three weeks," ethan awes. "wow."

"i might need your help getting my mini fridge up to the third floor of my dorm," i joke.

his face dims, and he lowers his eyes to his plate.

and then it hits me that he thinks he won't be here on the 20th.

"you'll help me move in... right?" i say quietly. "you'll be there for it?"

i see him take a breath but not let it out. finally, he looks up and nods.

"yes, tess. i'll be there."

"promise?"

he hesitates. "promise."

i sit back in my chair, relieved, but not to the fullest extent as i could be. i don't know what august 14th holds. he doesn't know what august 14th holds.

so we just sit back and wait.