troubled | e.d.

twenty-five

ethan

monday morning, i'm probably more surprised than anything else to see richard walking in briskly and tessa scrambling to keep up.

he looks up from his phone, and sees me. i swallow, trying not to look nervous.

"dolan," he says in a deep voice, motioning me to follow him.

tessa finally gives up her long strides with a sigh, and i smile over my shoulder at her, happy that the plan worked for her to be back.

"how was your trip?" i ask just to fill the air when we get into his office and shut the door. plus, it seems polite. and that's what i need to be right now.

"ethan," he says, sitting down in his chair and leaning forward across the desk. he fumbles with his hands, and i raise an eyebrow. "i have some bad news."

"what?" i ask quickly. "what happened? is it cameron? what's wrong?"

"no, no," he assures with a head shake. "nothing about cameron. it's about you."

i lean back in my chair, preparing to be told the bad news. "oh... okay. i can deal with that."

"i- i don't know if you can."

"you're scaring me," i admit.

richard avoids my eyes, and instead looks past my shoulder and at the plaques on his wall. i crane my neck to be in his view site, and his gaze shifts once again.

"loughty has a new lawyer."

my lips part, and i blink a couple times. "o-oh."

"ethan... he's one of the best in the south."

"so what are you saying?"

"i'm saying that your case is reopened."

the words strike me hard, leaving me without any words to say. i take short, shallow breaths and dig my nails into the side of the cushioned chair.

"no, no," i shake my head in denial. "that's impossible. w-what's his new evidence?"

"he's still claiming you tried to kill him. he won't stop until he gets solid evidence that you came to his apartment with a newly purchased weapon with every intention of ending his life."

"i- i didn't," i get out weakly, pleadingly.

"i know," his eyes lower. "i know, ethan."

"so what's his angle?"

"the new lawyer is jared bernard," he replies. "famous for his negotiating and detailed questioning in court. be prepared to be asked anything."

"how much would i be facing if i did happen to get convicted?" i ask quietly.

he's quiet for a moment, letting me know that it's bad.

"just tell me, richard," i insist, leaning forward in my chair.

"twenty years," he says, barely above a whisper.

i let my eyes close and take a deep, calming breath. i'm innocent. i didn't do it on purpose. i know that, richard knows that, tessa knows that. the only person who needs to know that is the judge.

"what do i do?" i ask.

"stay put. lay low. don't talk to anyone besides me or hargrove. you remember him, right?"

nodding, i say, "how could i forget?"

"i have an angle that i could approach to prove you innocent and keep your self defense acquittal."

"what's that?"

he sighs. "it's a shot in the dark, ethan—"

"just tell me."

"your sister," he replies. "we get your sister on the witness stand."

my eyes widen, and i feel my breath get caught in my throat. i haven't seen my sister in almost a year.

"cameron won't," i say quietly, lowering my head and rubbing my temples. "she won't testify against him. you know that she won't."

"you're her brother, ethan."

i look up. "she said i'm not anymore."

"you saved her," he says roughly. "you saved her life and you know it. i don't give a damn if that means she lost him."

i feel a stinging sensation on the corner of my eyes, and quickly blink it away.

"you're a simply petty crime man being tried for attempted murder. i know we don't get along that well, ethan... but i'm willing to do whatever needs to be done to keep you out of that court room forever."

his voice is genuine and something i've never heard from him before. it's nice. fatherly, almost.

"i don't want to go to prison," i whisper, shaking my head down at the desk.

"you won't."

"but his lawyer—"

"ethan," he says firmly. "i'm laying my hand down and promising that you won't put on an orange jumpsuit. not now, not ever."

"richard..."

"you're a good kid, ethan," he whispers. "you're such a good kid with good morals who makes dumb decisions. but i wouldn't still be here right now if i didn't believe in you."

he believes me. first tessa, now him.

"thank you," i say quietly.

"it's my job."

"no..." i look at him, meeting his eyes that are dark and cloudy. "thank you. for everything."

"what do you mean?"

i open my mouth, then close it again.
"you're a really good dad, you know that?"

he blinks back, clearly surprised.

"tessa's um, tessa is really lucky to have you," i mumble, standing up from my seat and tapping the table with my fingertip.

he watches me as i head for the door slowly and numbly.

"ethan?" he calls out, stopping my hand on the handle.

i look over my shoulder. "yes?"

"don't call my work phone anymore. use my personal."