troubled | e.d.

forty-two

tessa

i don't care what ethan says, i'm going to his hearing.

my mind races only 24 hours prior to when he has to step foot in that court room, and i busy myself with packing for college and picking out an outfit for when he wins.

so far i'm pretty certain on a little black dress with a high neckline, and even lay it out over my desk chair.

i've been wanting to talk to him every spare minute, but he's been so caught up with meeting with my dad and hargrove, being with his mom and brother, and worrying about tomorrow.

i literally just want to kiss his forehead and tell him everything will be okay.

because it will be.

i've given up on cameron saving the day, but my hopes are still high that my dad can pull through and give a good defense as to why he's innocent. it shouldn't be that hard... considering he is innocent, but it doesn't look too good.

finally, at 5 pm, my phone lights up on my nightstand. i grab for it quickly and check the notification.

ethan: hi baby. sorry i haven't talked to you in since this morning, today has been crazy. grayson and my mom just went back to their hotel for the night. my hearing is at 10 am tomorrow, and i'll be by at around 8 to see you before

i think for a minute, then decide something.

life is too short not to scream your feelings for someone off the mountaintops— and every single bone in my body will regret it if i don't tell ethan that i love him tonight.

because when tomorrow happens... i may never get the chance. my dad is powerful, and i know for sure he'll keep me away from ethan if he gets locked up.

i have to tell him.

shutting off my phone, i grab my keys from my desk and slip on some shoes, not really bothering to see what they are. i race down the stairs and yell out to my dad that i'll be back.

i didn't tell him a specific time, because i don't have one in mind.

i take deep, calming breaths on my drive to his apartment, telling myself that i have nothing to lose by being vulnerable right now.

if he can't say it back, then i don't know what i'll do.
but i'm pretty certain he will.

the anxious, excited, nervous feeling settles back in my stomach as i pull into the dim parking garage and climb out, feeling a little light headed.

i lock my car and head to the stairs, taking them two at a time as i count up his floors.

love is really unpredictable, i've learned. i wouldn't have ever thought that the guy i saw in mary-anne's office— cold, hard stare— would end up being the guy i fall for.

i smile just thinking about it, and give a knock on ethan's door. i toy with the rings on my fingers for a minute or two before it swings open, showcasing a confused looking ethan.

but as soon as he sees me, his eyes light up.

"hi," he says softly, moving to hug me.

i stay in his arms, but take a couple steps forward into the apartment, pushing us both to the point where i can close the door.

i'm surprised he can't feel my heart beating out of my chest.

when he pulls away, he looks a little curious as he pushes some of my hair behind my ear.
"are you okay?"

i nod, feeling really overwhelmed with a feeling i can't describe. i want to shout how i feel about him.

i want to show him that i love him.

"i have something to tell you," i whisper.

"crazy enough, i have something to tell you," he says playfully, poking my collarbone gently.

"i think mine's pretty important."

"i would say mine is too."

"how important?" i ask.

he shifts on his feet nervously. "really."

"same."

"so how about we just say it together?"

"together?" i question.

"yeah, at the same time. and then we can decide whose is more important."

i take a deep, calming breath and nod.

"on the count of three, ready?" he asks.

"yes."

"1... 2... 3,"

"i love you," tumbles out of both of our mouths.

at the exact. same. time.