Livre: One Shots

[35] I want your complications too

PROMPT: can you maybe do a panic attack oneshot ?

(From tumblr. My tumblr blog is KaylorFlavor.)

-/-

"Taylor?!"

Karlie's voice echoed through the empty apartment as she blindly left her keys at the entrance's bowl. Distressed, she quickly took on Taylor's keys already there, the apartment, however, dark and unlit as if the place was still empty.

"Taylor?" Calling the blonde again, Karlie did a quick inventory of the rooms downstairs, noticing the blonde's black jacket hanging haphazardly from the couch's back. Quickly turning towards the stairs and climbing them up as quickly as she could, she opened the main bedroom door in one single movement. "Taylor, did something happen? I lost you while talking to Josh and Ruby told me she had seen you...."

She halted at the sight that stared back at her in the silver-like light that bathed the room thanks to the uncovered windows. Seated at the room's bed and surrounded by a handful of clothes and one single worn out bag Taylor looked back at her, her hands a flurry as she picked tank top after tank top and folded it just as quickly. Her hands going slack, the blonde woman halted at Karlie's entrance, her knuckles turning white as she tightened her grasp on the fabric once again as she took on the model's figure.

"I'm leaving." She said in a shaky, jerky voice, one Karlie had been ages since she had last heard it.

"Leaving?" Karlie could feel her heart crushing behind the weight of the other woman's words and for a moment she felt her head swaying just as she followed Taylor's actions with her eyes. "Wh... Has something happened? Is everything okay?"

"I've realized that this is not a good idea. I... I need to leave, you won't..."

The rest of her words were lost but Karlie saw the shame on her blue eyes just as she turned towards the next piece of clothing, pale face whiter than ever, tendons on her neck protruding every time she tried to swallow.

"Is this because of Mal?" She finally asked after a few more seconds. She had seen the way Taylor had stared at the other woman when she had approached the table they were in and even if they had been in fact in a date and Mal had indeed interrupted them, Karlie had let Josh indulge her in a conversation considering how long it had been since they had last seen each other. Taylor, however, hadn't been as responsive as Karlie to his words and she could remember the almost somber look that had crossed over the blonde's eyes as they started to talk "Taylor?"

"I don't want to make you pretend that you care about me."

The sentence was uttered in such a soft, broken voice Karlie almost didn't hear it but, nevertheless, she did and as she could feel a undeniable pain surging from within her chest at the blonde's words she held her breath and inwardly counted to ten before moving closer to the bed, circling it until she was in front of Taylor's still seated form.

Crouching in front of Taylor, Karlie rose her hands, quickly finding the blonde's. Stroking the knuckles with her thumbs, the older woman eyed Taylor until she could do nothing but stare back at her, red rimming her eyes as well as her cheeks.

"I'm here." The model whispered in a soft, even voice. She was smiling slightly at Taylor, her eyes shining in the darkened room. "You know I'm here."

Taylor nodded slowly at her words, her chest heaving beneath her shirt. Karlie rose her right hand and pressed her fingers against her sternum, guiding the blonde's breathing.

"I'm not going to go anywhere, or leave you, by talking to someone I once knew." Karlie continued, looking at Taylor's eyes, at the way they narrowed. She could feel her knees protesting due to the uncomfortable position she was as well as the feel of the cold, clammy feel of Taylor's skin beneath her fingertips. She could feel as well the remorse on Taylor's posture, on the way her fingers quickly loosened their grip on the tank top she had been folding mere minutes before. "I won't lie to you, I will probably see her again, and talk to her and that won't mean that I won't be back to be with you. It won't ever mean that."

Taylor's breathing had turned even more swallowed as Karlie spoke but once she stopped talking nothing else was heard for the longest of times as Karlie kept caressing the younger woman's chest, her other hand drawing circles on the back of Taylor's left. That's why when the blonde finally spoke, voice rough, Karlie sighed, alleviated to hear something else than just silence.

"I know that."

Karlie nodded, waiting for Taylor to keep talking.

"I know that." The blonde repeated for a second time, raising her hands, letting the tank top finally fall at her feet, in front of Karlie's knees. Grasping her girlfriends wrists, she softly guided them until she could caress them softly, her eyes never leaving Karlie's. "I know that it shouldn't... that I shouldn't think... that I shouldn't doubt. Because I trust you. I really do. It's just-"

"Perhaps it is time for us to talk about that." Karlie answered, softly freeing her hands from Taylor's loose grasp and grazing the blonde's cheek with her left, following the line-like shadows that left the blonde's tresses on her skin. "And to see what we can do about it, but Taylor?" The blonde rose her chin, eyes swimming in unshed tears that began to spill from the corner of her eyes. Quickly kissing them away Karlie rose and sat on Taylor's side before gently speaking again. "You are not a fling for me. You know that and I can never dismiss that. You're more than all of that and the second you realize how deeply in love I am with you, the easier these moments will be."

Taylor nodded, closing her eyes as Karlie slowly encircled her in an awkward half-hug, their height differences noticeable on the angle on her arm, a detail they both saw and which quickly made them smile, as fragile as it felt.

Fin.

-/-

Thanks for reading. I hope that this was what you were thinking of anon! I wanted to highlight some other things as well.