Livre: One Shots

[5] Until you come back home

Karlie can count off hand around a thousand things that Taylor does on a daily basis to knock her speechless.

That's an approximate number, of course. She hasn't really taken the time to count yet, although she did try one day to keep track of every single instance. This became problematic because some things just blurred into each other, and Karlie realized that minutes of struggling to keep her breathing level and her eyes distracted and her skin cool could count as one or perhaps one hundred different instances. So, she gave up around 11 a.m.

But for the rest of her day, it's all that's filling her mind.

There's the early morning texts, the ones that were completely unexpected at first until they become almost second nature — mostly screenshots of inspirational quotes, poems, etc. Sometimes, when they've been apart for too long, it's a sunrise, with no caption, no context, and Karlie wonders what Taylor is thinking about as she watches the sun slowly glow into existence, ushering in a new day in whatever city she's in that day. Karlie tries to keep track, she does... but sometimes her schedule gets busy.

There's the morning greetings in the apartment, the easy way she'll steal a sip from Karlie's coffee before going to pour her own, always looking at her appreciatively with a nod and a small smile.

"This is good," she'll say, and Karlie will scoff, raising her eyebrows.

"If it's good enough for me, I'm sure it's good enough for you," Karlie will almost always respond, and Taylor will laugh, raising her hands in her own defense, dropping her phone in the space by Karlie's elbow to claim her place before strolling off to fix her own mug.

There's the way Taylor touches Karlie, wrapping her up fully in both arms with a hug from behind, pressing her hand on top of Karlie's wrist whenever their out sneaking around, catching her and lifting her off the ground after being apart for what seems like ages. There's the way she squeezes her arm gently after a bad day, listening to every frustration that Karlie could possibly voice, and quieting each of her fears.

It's mostly a series of subtleties, Karlie thinks, until it isn't that subtle at all anymore. And that's when it becomes something that she can't stop thinking about. At all. Of course, Karlie' brain is kind of always like this. She practices constant mental self-control because it's too easy for her thoughts to stray and then obsess, and her mind moves quickly enough that sometimes she'll lose track of it. Playing catch up with her own thoughts is both exhausting and relentlessly frustrating. So she's learned to adapt, to focus, to clear out everything that isn't necessary and then to categorize that which she needs most. It's a process and a lifestyle. It keeps her calm.

Thinking of Taylor kind of wrecks that. And it does so in such a quiet way that Karlie really doesn't have time to do anything, and suddenly one of her best friends is consuming half her thoughts and half her mind. So she does her best. She compartmentalizes. She suppresses. She distracts. And she tries to keep herself focused on the different photoshoots of the day.

It's in the voicemails Karlie has saved over the past days, months, and years, and before she can stop herself she finds herself listening to the messages of her past.

"Karl! When are you getting here? Cara is wasted already and everyone else is well on their way. I'm going to need backup! Get here soon before I lose my mind! Love you!" Taylor is 110% already wasted on this call and the slur of her voice just brings a smile immediately.

"Babe, your dog chewed on my shorts. I'm taking yours, is that cool? It's only fair. Bye."

"I saw the most beautiful sunset today and I thought to myself it was the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And then it got me thinking some more. I'm so glad I have you in my life. I'll talk to you when you get to the hotel, I'm heading onto the stage in 5 minutes. Call me if you can before that." This one Taylor is so tender and gentle and this is Karlie's favorite one by far.

She has every word of those voicemails memorized from how many times she's listened to them late at night or when she needed a pick me up. They usually put her in a better mood or allowed her to fall asleep almost peacefully. She still finds it a little hard to fall asleep when she is alone in bed, but hearing Taylor's voice calms her down enough she can almost pretend the lanky singer is there with her. Before she can stop herself she is calling the singer, it rings a few times before she picks up.

"Hey."

"Hi baby. I love you."

"I love you too. What's up? I don't have much time I'm in between interviews."

"Nothings up. I just wanted to call you and tell you I love you."

Taylor just laughs, "Well I love you too. It's-", the phone pauses, "midnight in New York, babe you really should be getting some sleep okay?"

Karlie just smiles, "I'll try." She mentally adds this tender side of Taylor on the list. "I just have been thinking a lot about you today."

"Aww.... Well get some sleep and I'll call you when you wake up and we can FaceTime 'kay?"

"I'd like that. Bye babe. Knock 'em dead."

"Love you Karlie."

Taylor Facetimes Karlie true to her word after Karlie sends her a text and after the call, Karlie is left feeling inspired to write down every little thing she's learned she's loved about Taylor. Counting down the days until she's back in the city.

Fin.

-/-

Wow....  Two in one day?! I might be posting one more today too. Since I had a lot of time yesterday since I didn't have work! Let me know what your thoughts are. :)