Just Noticed

Chapter 13

Now, let's skip January. January wasn't a month Jennie wanted to ever reflect on. It still taunted her whenever she closed her eyes during the still cold nights. The kind of nights where she wished she was embraced by the arms of the person she longed for but felt out of reach. That person grew distant.

That month mocked the tightness in the chest whenever bright doe eyes never met hers. It made her lips quiver as she fought back a sob that would wrack her body horridly.

She hated that month.

It was the month she was forced to be in a scandal with another member. Nothing against the man, she just wished it didn't have to be her or anyone she knew in general. Yes, it only lasted a month, but it never meant it hurt any less.

Why her? Why was she forced to fake date a man she never wanted when something else was growing that she was excited about.

The situation put a pause on her destined life. Maybe even dented the line of her life.

She wished she didn't, but she remembered every single day of that month. Especially when she was called in by YG the week before January even started.

She remembered feeling exciting for the new year, praying something beautiful will blossom. And, what grew her excitement even more was the New Years party. She was planning something that had her cheeks pink.

New Years kiss.

But it all came crashing down the moment YG said,

"You'll be dating exo member Kai. On New Year's Day, you will be caught by dispatch."

She had no words. All she felt was her heart sinking. She remembered fighting back her tears and a lump growing in her throat. She remembered the sickening twisting feeling in her stomach knowing her plans were forcefully ripped out of her grasp. And no matter how hard she tried to hold on, YG simply took and crumpled it in front of her eyes.

What made it worse was the look in her members eyes. Most specifically Lisa's eyes. The light in those big brown eyes were flickering as if it was close to dissolving into nothing.

They knew it was fake, but again, did it mean it wasn't going to hurt any less?

She was uncomfortable sitting with a man she never spoke to in the car. His silence was awkward because he was forced to do this as well. There was small talk here and there but both didn't have the strength or need to speak anymore. Especially when they were at the park.

It was so cold that Jennie could see her own breath in front of her. She had her arms crossed in front of her and stood a little too far from the stranger in front of her. Thankfully, he understood and kept that said distance.

The brunette remembered closing her eyes and imagining a familiar smile. That smile added a slight warmth to wave through her body but then she remembered the frown Lisa had when she walked out into the night and into the car with someone else she wanted to cry right there and then.

Jennie didn't want him.

She wanted Lisa to be standing there but not far from her. She wanted the blonde to hold her and press a loving kiss on her forehead. Jennie wanted to hear Lisa whispering how beautiful she looked under the moonlight before pressing her forehead against her own.

Jennie wanted Lisa.

So, in the middle of the month, Jennie had enough of the silent treatment. She barged into the younger ones room without so much of a little knock on the wooden door that separated them.

Lisa jumped in surprised and widened her eyes, "Unnie? Is everything okay?"

Unnie.

Unnie.

To hell with the word Unnie.

Jennie wanted to fall on her knees and let the world crumble over her. So much changed in just a few weeks. Distance grew and, oh how she hated it. She hated that name.

"Are you crying?" Lisa asked, abruptly standing up and staring at the smaller one with heavy concern swimming her eyes. Jennie lifted her hand and touched her wet cheeks.

Oh. I am crying.

A tiny sob escaped her lips and immediately, Lisa rushed over and took the older one into her arms.

"Please don't cry," the blonde one whimpered out. Jennie cried even harder while burying her face in the crook of Lisa's neck. She gripped tightly onto the soft material of Lisa's hoodie and melted into her even more.

She missed this. She missed Lisa.

"I don't want him," Jennie whispered into Lisa's skin. Lisa shivered unintentionally and pulled back slightly to look at Jennie's broken features. The doe eyed girl wiped Jennie's cheek with her thumb,

"What'd you say?" She asked in a low whisper, slowly pulling away from the smaller one. Jennie suddenly grew frantic with the upcoming loss and gripped Lisa's arms tightly. She sharpened her gaze into her favorite eyes and spoke a little louder than intended.

"I don't want him! Okay?" She took in a deep breath and repeated the words slowly, wanting the words to imprint into Lisa's head,

"I. Don't. Want. Him."

They remained silent for a moment. Eyes speaking the unspoken words and understanding every meaning of it. Words that had a soft fluttering feeling to wave through both hearts. So warm and so loving. Lisa's eyes softened and suddenly, the light grew back and Jennie couldn't help but cry lightly in relief from the sight.

Lisa leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on Jennie's forehead.

"Okay," She whispered against the skin before her holding her tightly.

"Okay."