Jealous {Ongoing}

(part 24): look at what love did; He's dying emotionally

Unedited

It was past one in the morning, when I heard a knock from my door, I rubbed my eyes sleepy and said "who's there?"

"It's me, Emily"

"Jason?" I stood up from my bed and opened my door, meeting Jason's eyes his eyes where slightly closed, and he was moving from one feet to another; yeah he is drunk and his eyes were bloody shot red as if he'd been crying

"Emily" he slurred falling on me I managed to catch him and drop in on my bed "I love you Emily" he said making me halt.

"Look at what you are doing to yourself, Jason"

"Why do you always push me away from you?"

"Because I don't feel the same way you feel for me" I said carefully choosing my words, as I sat down beside him

"I love you so much Emily that's why I always sleep with girls no one is as good as you and the fact that you keep on pushing me is what's making me sad" he sighed "I'm not the old Jason again gogga I promise, just give me a chance and I promise that I won't let you go" he pleaded

"Where have you been Jason?" I asked ignoring his speech

"Well I was at-- umm I don't think I can remember her name"

Oh how many hearts will you break Jason?

"Can you hear yourself? You can't even remember the girl's name you had sex with?"

"Well she isn't my girlfriend." He stated

"So she's your play toy?" I asked getting annoyed

"Something like that" he shrugged

The guts he has, to call a girl his play toy

"What about the clingy girl you were with later today?"

"Oh you mean Clara?" He beamed at that suddenly showing interest "that you are jealous of?"

"What? Who would ever be jealous of her? I mean have you heard her talk?" I said and he laughed

"You will get used to it"

"I better hope not to see her again" we both laughed at that.

"You know, I would do anything for you to love me back" he said. "I always get drunk to get out of my misery" he admitted

Suddenly a wave of guilt passed through me, I never thought someone could love me like this, I don't really know what he's capable of, he's so good at breaking people's heart what if he breaks my heart and leaves me?-- what am I thinking?! I won't even consider giving him a chance, I can't i don't know why I just can't.

"Do you know what I love about you?" Jason asked

"Umm"

"Your smile that is as sweet as a sugar; so innocent, your boldness; the way you talk so creative, you aren't afraid to stand up for what's yours, your beauty that takes me away, the way you shine in the night and day, your sweet smell that I can't ignore." He smiled lightly "those perfect eyes that take away my worries, you inspire me so much, your ability to make me angry but when I am alone and I think of you, you have no idea how much it makes me happy, your opinion always shine just like how you always look bright, you are positive to the core, while I am no more, the way you shut me up with those melodious voice, tell me, how won't I fall in love? You take risks so why can't you take the risk of being with me?"

I was speechless at that point i didn't know what to say. The only thing that I think about him is how bad, cocky, self- centered and foolish he is, I only see the bad side of him but I never tried to see the good in him, looking him in the eyes I could see that he was suffering emotionally but I couldn't do anything.