Jealous {Ongoing}

(part 48): Confessions

"hello?"

Jason picked up, I didn't know what to say, as I let the tears fall from my face, I don't know where to begin, knowing that he still cares for me, makes me happy, but knowing that he still has problems, makes me sad.

I never knew he came back for me, I never thought he would, he still has feelings for me. "Hello?"

He repeated again. "H-hello Jason?" I said

"What do you want?" He spat bitterly, but I know he doesn't hate me he will never hate me, even when he has problems, and all his demons keep torturing him, he will never hate me.

"I..i"

"What?" He asked when I didn't say anything.

I had no idea where to start from, I never knew he would actually pick my call, but he picked it. "Jason are you alright? Please don't do anything to hurt yourself, please i..I never knew that you were actually fake dating Olivi.."

"Oh so she told you?"

"Yes Jason, please don't hurt yourself, I don't know what I'd do, I'm really sorry for all the pains that I cost you, I'm really sorry"

"Oh please, it's not like you care if i die tomorrow or today, it won't make a difference to you Emily" he said.

Hearing that made me want to cry more, he thought I didn't care "what do you mean Jason? I do. I do so much, and if you think I don't you are a big fool, you went for four years Jason, four freaking years.."

"Emily" Jason said, as his voice calmed down and it came out softer than I had imagined it.

"No Jason, at least let me talk, I called your line every single day, hoping you would pick up, I cried myself every single day to sleep, losing my mother caused a very bad thing in my life, it affected my mentality, and you thought it was only you Jason. You thought it was only you that was broken, but I am more that you can ever know, and you left" I cried more.

Jason didn't say anything as he listened "you were too cowardly Jason, you always found a way to just run away, ignoring others pain"

"That's not true Emily. You have no idea how much I got hurt, attempting suicide.."

"Suicide?" He actually wanted to kill himself? " Jason, I cried every day because of you, after waiting for six months, I got mad very mad that you still didn't come back, it took me six fucking months to regain my sanity six months... And you show up just like that, everything I said about you vanished in my head, and seeing you say you love another woman? Do you know how much it affected me? You just wanted to make me jealous, and guess what Jason you succeed" I turned right.

"What are you talking about? Anyways you have a son to look after, so be a good mother and.."

"Jason please stop it just stop it! Eric is not my son he's Isa's" I yelled "so please just stop it, stop thinking about yourself and think about others for once Jason, please"

"Tell me Emily, why are you doing this? Why are you telling me this now"

"Because I love you Jason!" I let the words slip out from my mouth "I love you more than anything, Jason, when you left that's when I realized it, I've loved you and even though I'm too late to tell you I love you, your smile, I love it, your confidence? I love it I love everything about you. You think I'm not capable of loving someone like you? Then you aren't capable of loving someone like me." I cried out.

The skies were turning darker showing it was about to rain, I heard a loud thunder and saw it was raining heavily, I waited for Jason to say something anything.

"Emily stop this, I know Olivia told you everything, she told you how I am so please don't stop me from what I am about to do, please don't stop me I hate being pityed I hate it so much" hearing him say that made my heart to break. He sounded so defeated and sad.

"So you believe me loving you is a pity?" I asked disappointed "you believe that you are too big for me or what?"

"I never said that Emily.."

"Then what did you say?! I snapped at him "I love you, whether you believe it or not, I love you" I said

"Are-- are you serious?" He asked and I nodded, realizing he couldn't see me so I spoke up.

"Yes Jason I am serious" I said, I looked over at the road again, as I made a u-turn because there was no road there. There was a long pause, before he finally spoke up

"Emily if you are tricking m.."

"I'm not Jason, I would never do that.."

Before I could even continue defending myself I heard him scream "Yessss" Jason yelled laughing.

I smiled as I heard his laughter, it's been long Jason had laughed, he'd been caging himself since, breaking down and crying, and now he laughed, he freaking laughed,

I closed my eyes as I absorbed his laughter and rested my head on the seat. I love him, I love everything about him. His voice is absolutely mesmerizing, when he talk it's like I fall under his spell. His smile is contagious, when he smiles it feels like the world is smiling too. His eyes are something, I could easily get lost in and I guess I did. His smell is intoxicating, everyone else might not think that he is perfect as I think he is, but I don't care what they think, because I love him. And when you love someone even their so called flaws becomes beautiful.

I didn't realize that I was driving until a loud hunk made me open my eyes, my eyes widened as I realized, that I almost jammed a truck, as I moved left, Jason was on the phone saying things but my brain couldn't process it because of the fear, I gripped the staring wheel.

I looked up hitting the breaks, as the truck passed safely, my car skidded and I lost control of the wheel. My car skidded until I was sliding by the side, it lost balance and turned over only causing, my seatbelt to dig deep in me, my head banged on the side window with full force, causing my vision to blur, my ears buzzed, the car tumbled over the ditch in the side of the road.

The car was upside down, Glasses were scattered, above my head, I felt blood trickle down my face, and my hands. My eyes instantly shut due to the pain. As I managed to open the door of my car, that was already damaged but I couldn't get out, the seat belt held me tighter, causing the pain to shoot more, I felt like sleeping all of a sudden. As I felt the rain drops hitting my bloody hands

Was this it? Was I going to meet my Mom? Am I dying now?

All the questions kept raising in my mind, I wanted to cry but I couldn't, I have suffered my whole life, maybe if I die everyone will be at peace, maybe if I die I won't have to wake up every day and cry remembering my Mom. Maybe if I die, I won't have to worry how my dad is doing every single day.

I was fighting so hard to stay alive, but why? It's not like anyone could find me.

I just wanna sleep.....

I let out a sigh before I let the darkness cover me, it took the pain away from my body, my head that hurt badly, the pain i felt from my head was banging against my brain, everything slipped away with my consciousness.