Jealous {Ongoing}

Part (45): Let her soul rest in peace; she's in a better place

When I reached my penthouse, I ran to my room, as I flopped on my bed, what does heartbreak feel like? It's a dull ache, a piercing one, to the heart, a very crushing sensation, those type of pains can last for a few days and can subside or disappear like it never even happened, while some, it could be chronic hanging over your days and depleting you, just like the pain of a back injury or a migrai tone.

Cleaning the tears I didn't even know were coming out, I changed into a crop top and a shorts. The way he was so interested in the topic, he loves her, who ever she is, he loves her.

Looking back at it, it feels like yesterday when he was telling me that he had feelings for me but I denied it, what has been done has been done. I'd lost my chance and I can't get it back. I have no idea why people say money can solve all your problems, it's really annoying sometimes, they have each other and that's it, they don't need anything else, but... Me? Yes I do have money, and yes I have a family, at least that's what I think.

I don't know how my father is doing, and I can't talk to Isa about any of this, because I'm scared it will hurt her, I'm scared..

Whoever said money could solve all your problems, must not have had enough money to solve them, that's the saying.

At this very point, I wish my mother was here, I don't know why, I was doing alright, but when Jason came, he has a way o making me remember my mum, maybe because he brings sorrow to my life, and when I'm sad I always wish my mum was here. With me.

There's something I realized, if you love someone set it free, if it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't come back then it was never meant to be.. but how can I let someone like that go away?

Heart is broken, I realize I love him, and I can't..no I won't tell him, I've never loved anyone before, except my family, but he could never love someone like me again.. after I've cost him a lot of trouble. And pain

I may not be the one he wants I get that, but that's not why i love him. That's not why I light up at his smile, if he's not having me, nor I him. That doesn't mean I will stop loving him, when you love someone, you just do, and quite frankly, you can't take it back, you just have to accept it. And because my heart chose him, it chose him and that's what it wants.

I will always love him, with or without, I'm just too stubborn, I'm stubborn, and I'm a jealous mess..

Sighing, I dragged my feet to the kitchen and got my self a bottle water, my throat was feeling dry all of a sudden, i decided I needed to sleep.

I couldn't sleep properly, and trust me it's not because I've been crying, my throat was feeling really dry, I coughed and it seemed to be chronic and dry, sitting up properly I tried to talk, but my voice was hoarse, and it was like I was whispering, holding my throat, I tried talking again, but my throat started to pain me, I stood up from the bed, and carried my car keys, my driver wasn't here because, I told him to go home when he said his wife was sick, turning the engine of my car on, I began driving to the hospital.

When I arrived, I waited until it was my turn to be called, and finally, it got to my turn, entering inside the doctor's office, I sat on the bed as he examined my throat "how do you feel Mrs wilson?"he asked

"Well my throat is feeling really dry, and sore, and it keeps aching me" I explained as my voice came out as a whisper.

The doctor nodded and began examining my throat again, for a few minutes, before he spoke up "I am afraid, you have what is called laryngitis" the doctor said.

As I looked at him in confusion "when you loose your voice, it's most often due to laryngitis your voice box becomes irritated and inflamed, you can irritate your voice box when you overuse your voice or when you have an infection. Most cases of laryngitis are caused by viral infections, like the common cold, but in your case, you seem to have over used yours" the doctor says