A Night To A Lifetime

Kabanata 18

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko narating ang sariling table kahit na kanina pa nanginginig ang mga paa ko. Bastos na kung bastos ang hindi ko pagkibo sa kanila noong nagmartsa ako papasok ng sariling opisina. Ni hindi ko alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon sa mga nakita ko. Bumalik ang usapan namin ni Carrick noong sinabi niyang wala silang relasyon ni Sofia.

Pero paano kung mayro'n?

May palingkis pa ng kamay sa braso tapos may sinabi si Sofie about sa halik. E, 'di ibig sabihin, naghahalikan sila. Aba, mukhang may masasampal ako ngayon.

I heaved a sigh when my eyes automatically went to where they were standing earlier. Everything was vivid upon staring from the glass wall.

Before Carrick dragged Sofia out, I saw him staring at her intently with talking eyes. I don't have the idea what they were talking about but I sensed something different.

It pained me to think that she's the woman Carrick's going to marry. I don't think I'll be able to just let him go mostly, if it means being with Sofia.

Oo, tatanggapin ko ang desisyon ni Carrick pero ang hindi ko matanggap ay kung bigla siyang aamin na may relasyon sila ng babaeng 'yon. So ano ako, laro lang kasi bored siya? Hinayaan ko siyang makapasok sa buhay ko kahit na alam ko kung anong klaseng tao siya noon at kung paano siya sa mga babae.

But I don't want my mind to be clouded by negativities. That's why I kicked the thoughts and shrugged it off of my shoulders.

Umilaw ang phone ko sa tabi ng laptop. Guess what? It's him.

From: Carrick

I'm sorry 'bout what happened. We'll talk when I get back.

Umirap ako.

Get back your ass! Hindi na ako nag-abalang mag-reply at tinapos na lang ang pinagawa niyang email para sa mga business partners niya. I even turned my phone off not minding the time.

Carrick is the only person who made feel those hundreds of butterflies in my stomach nor can make my legs turn to jelly. He was the first person who owned me—one who made me feel waves of emotions whenever he touches me.

I'm scared to think that all of these are just passing. Na baka ito ay pinaranas lang pero mawawala rin pagdating ng panahon. Kaya ayaw kong makampante at sobrang maging masaya. Natatakot ako na baka isang araw, ang sobrang kasiyahan ay mapapalitan ng labis na kalungkutan.

Pero bilog ang mundo. Hindi sa lahat ng oras ay masaya tayo at walang problema. Walang kalungkutan, walang inaalala, dahil alam kong kaakibat ng kasiyahan ay ang sakit, problema, at kalungkutan.

Maybe struggles introduces us to be more stronger at times of catastrophes—sinasanay tayo sa panibagong haharapin. To be able to move forward and overcome hurdles. But those are just lessons we need to sow in our minds and hindrances we need to surpass. By that, we'll be able to master the art of passing the tempest, passing the test. 

That's it. Kaya 'wag pa rin pakampante. The table one day might abruptly switch even when you thought that you already reached the top. Life don't just end there. Life is a challenge people must face and everyone must be ready. But we don't just sit to win against trials; it involves effort.