Her Luna

Chapter Nine

I don't know if it was Carol, Gena, or what but I had the worst time trying to go to sleep.  I was literally thinking I was coming down with something but after realizing I couldn't stop thinking about Nancy l knew just what it was. 

It had never been like this before. Was it going to continue to get worse? I wasn't sure. Thinking back to those lost at the bar, no wonder they drank so much.

I sat up in bed and turned on the lamp. Fuck, I was sweating bad. Why was it hitting me like this now? I used my shirt on the floor to wipe the sweat off my forehead before tossing on a different shirt and heading out for a smoke.

One of the things about living here is if someone notices you're up they think they should be. I'm having a smoke, you get back to bed before you lose it. And here I was supposed to be one of the nice ones. I'm doing my best. Right now, I have a lot on my mind. When you're feeling like a zombie, it doesn't help.

The cool air made me sigh in relief. I'd most likely be freezing in thirty seconds since I didn't grab my sweater but screw that. I didn't even want to see one as hot as I was. 

Checking my phone it was just after four and Lizzy should be back from her night out by now. I decided to try calling her but it only went to voicemail. 

I made several laps around the block as I waited for Lizzy to call me back to no luck. Surely she'd of retired to her coffin by now I figured so I gave up for now. I'll try and catch her tonight.

After heading back in I grabbed a maintenance sign for the showers before locking myself inside. It sucks having to use the same showers as everyone else who stays here and found my mind wandering on my gender confirmation surgery coming up. Take that, Nancy! There's one thing that can distract my mind from you. You're not as invisible as you think.

I stood naked looking at myself in the mirror.  After years of struggling and hating that growth between my legs it would soon be gone. Not in years as I've told myself   and not even one, but literally just a few months. I could actually say weeks now to trick my mind into thinking it's even sooner.

I needed to start planning it. I need to schedule the flight- would about now be good? What was the recommendation length of time to get the best price? Well seeing as I'll soon have money I guess it's not a big deal but still… I'll need to get two. One for me and…

"FUCK! Who the hell could I ask?!" Of all the things that could screw it up, this wasn't one I had been focused on. I knew I had better come up with someone soon if I had to pay someone off the street. I waited far to long to have anything mess it up and missing this appointment could mean another year minimum of waiting. 

Time slipped away from me as I relaxed in the shower. It wasn't some sleep like I was needing, but it did help, and once I was able to get some coffee in me, I was confident I'd be able to function well enough to get through the day barring any major catastrophes. 

I put my hair in a ponytail and went with a white cotton blouse, blue jeans and a blazer in an attempt to look somewhat professional. 

Maybe I should have my jaw and nose done? I thought to myself as I applied my concealer. I had planned to have my breasts done which was still refusing to get out of a B-cup after the main surgery. It was just I had no idea when I could afford it. Was there a package deal? 

"Ohh stop obsessing over yourself, Crystal!" I criticized myself.

I wonder what Nancy's doing now? Still sleeping? Did she dream about me? My mind followed.

Oh for Pete's sake, obsess away! Maybe I can find time to request some brochures later. Thank the moon goddess that got my mind to return to needles and scalpels.