The best gift is love. A true love. A genuine love. But it should be given. Not being demanded. For that love to be fruitful.
Days passed by... it's already Christmas day. The day I didn't expect myself to be okay. Because of the truth that is being unveiled. I guessed that's alright. That's okay. No harm. No answer.
We stood in front of the sparkly Christmas lights. It was such a nice place to watch fireworks. And funny as it seems.. We look like a couple who's in love with each other.
"Merry Christmas, Naya. Here's my gift," Ced greeted to me. Binigay niya na rin ang regalo. Konting oras na lang, mapapanood na namin ang fireworks.
I opened his gift for me. It's a silver necklace with an infinity sign pendant. Written on it, is our name, Naya and Ced, forever friends.
Matutuwa na sana ako. Pero napansin ko na dahil magkabilaan ng infinity sign ang pangalan namin, nasa likod noon ang 'forever friend'. Ang nakakainis pa, sa likod ng pangalan niya 'yong forever, tapos sa likod ng pangalan ko ay ang friend.
It seems to me that he is my forever, but I'm only his friend. Oh! What a shame! Gusto kong isipin na kaya niya ako binigyan ng kuwintas dahil he is proposing his love for me, but it turns out na hindi. He's just giving me a sign that we can never be more than friends. Just friends. Just that.
"Merry Christmas too, Ced! Gift ko. Open it." I then gave him my gift. What is it? A photo album... with messages each.
Sa oras na matapos niya ang pagbasa sa mga mensahe ko sa kaniya... malalaman na niya ang lahat. Kung saan nagsimula, kung paano nangyari, kung gaano kalalim. Lahat malalaman niya. At hindi ko maiwasan ang matakot. Matakot sa maaaring mangyari sa aming dalawa. Kung paano ko na siya mapakikitunguhan. Sana walang magbago. Sana ganoon pa rin. Inaasahan kong ganoon pa rin. At sana mangyari iyon.
"Wow... photo album!! Mula pagkabata? Astig nito, Naya! I love it!" And I love you too. Of course you don't love me back!
"Unti-untiin mo l-lang ang pagbabasa h-ha? Para exciting. At huwag ka m-masiyadong magugulat ha? K-kinakabahan ako eh," nautal-utal ko nang sinasabi iyon. Kinakabahan talaga ako. Paano kung kamuhian niya ako? Ayokong mangyari iyon.
"Sige ba. Ano bang meron dito at kinakabahan ka pa? Baka may love letter ito ha? Ikaw ha!" Meron nga, Ced. Handa ka bang malaman iyon?
As I started to prepare my gift for him. The first picture I pasted is our picture from our school's Monday Mass. We looked terrible at this one.
'(*∩_∩*)′
I remember back then, when we didn't know each other yet. We seated next to each other. He's on my left side. On my right... is an another chair where no one sits... so I put there my umbrella. The Mass barely started. We waited for a minute... until it begins. After a while, we stand up to sing a chore. Right after we're done... we sit again... to continue the ceremony. But something weird happened. I sit onto the other chair on my right where my umbrella is located. He looked at me as if I did something wrong. I didn't mind it though. I replaced my umbrella on my previous chair. Acting as if nothing happened. I didn't know why I did that. All I know is that I feel uncomfortable going near him.
We were only in grade 1 that time. But I felt something weird. I feel like I should beware of him. That I can't stand sitting next with him. After the Mass, I walked as fast as I could. Something telling me that I should run away. But I felt something weird again. His touch. His touch made me feel weird. It feels electrifying. So I pushed him.
"Hey, what's wrong? What did I do? Are you mad at me?" he said it with a look as if he's on the verge of crying.
I said to him 'no, everything's alright, don't worry'. After that, I ran away as if my life depended on it. I am trembling. And I don't know what to do with it. I can't explain the feeling I had at that time. Because I was so young. That I couldn't comprehend what was going on.
