to you it's cute when i'm so anxious that all i can do is hold your hand and hide behind you and it's easy to manage. it makes you feel good when you can hold me when i cry because i'm so emotionally drained. but you're not there for the mood swings or the belief that nobody loves me. you're not there for the manic thoughts and how accidentally rude i can get. you aren't there for the back and forth in my brain because i constantly go from plotting my death to fantasizing about the future. it's cute until it's not convenient for you.
