Unspoken Desire (Completed)

"Confessions:

    Sana's head was spinning. She had finished her shift and called Maa. Maa was home and Sana was happy. She told Maa she will be home late. Sid was still at his shoot. He was going to be late. The talk with Arun has made her restless. She needed time to think this over, so she went to her place. She made herself a strong coffee and sat in the window. Sid not taking that big project was her fault. She had been such an idiot and an emotional fool yesterday. She knew the importance of work and still had acted on impulse. She will have to sort this out. She will have to convience him to go to Brazil. Without her. She warned herself to keep her foolish emotions on check. Its getting in the way of his success. How do she convience him?? She will have to do something. Came out of her thoughts as she heard her phone buzzing. It was Sid.
Sid: Kaha hai tu??Maa boli tuje late hoga. Studio pe hai kya ab tak??
Sana: Siddharth teri shoot ho gayi??
Sid: Ha abhi hue. Tera kaam ho gaya ho to mai aata hu tuje lene.
Sana: Sid mai apne ghar pe hu.
Sid: Matlab??
Sana: Mai yaha apne ghar aayi hu.
Sid: Vo tera nhi, us uncle aunty ka ghar hai.
Sana: Ha mai unke ghar pe hu.
Sid: Aur tu vaha kyu hai?? Jab hamari baat hue the ke tu akele vaha nhi rahegi to??
Sana: Siddharth tu yaha aa sakta hai kya??
Sid: Kya hua hai baby?? Tu muje ab tension de rahi hai.
Sana: Are kuch nhi hua hai. Kuch baat  karni hai tujse.
Sid: Yeh sun kar to muje aur tension ho rahi hai.
Sana: Pagal hai tu. Aa jaa. Sath me chai pete hai.
Sid: Tu mat banana, bahot gandi banati hai. Morning me pe maine. Zabardasti.
Sana: Ha thek hai. Thek hai. Coffee pila dungi. Aaja.
Sid: Mai aa raha hu. Fir hum sath me ghar chalenge.
Sana: Dekhte hai.
Sid: Baby faltu ka natak mat kar. Aa raha hu ruk jaa.
    Sid was stressed now. He jumped into the car and drove to see her. What was this all about?? This girl was quiet challenging. Everyday a new agenda. What now?? Why did she go there anyway?? They could have spoken at his home. May be she doesnt feel comfortable at my place.??She is more comfortable there?? Maa does everything in her power to make her feel at home. Does he not go out of his way to make her happy?? Then why?? He rang the bell and she opened it with a smile plastered on her face. He looked at her with a dead pan face  and entered the corridor, went inside the hall and sat on the sofa. He did not take her in his arms. He was a bit upset.
Sid: Tu yaha kya kar rahi hai??
Sana: Coffee banau.
Sid: Hmm
    Sana disappeared in the kitchen and Sid made a call informing Maa he too will be late. Sana came with the coffee, gave it to him and saw his changed mood. He was ok will he called. What happened now??
Sid: Bol
Sana: Tu itna serious kyu ho gaya hai acchanak?? Phone pe to thek tha??
Sid: Kuch nhi tu bol. Ab kya hua?? Ab kya kiya maine??
Sana: Tune kuch nhi kiya. Maine kiya.
Sid: Aur kya kiya tune??
Sana: Pehle tu muje bata tu itna gussa kyu hua pada hai.
Sid: Chod na agar mai kuch bolu to fir hamare beech koi na koi problem ho jaayega. Tu bol kya baat hai. Tu yaha kyu hai aur muje yaha kyu bulaaya??
Sana: Baby mai chahti hu ke tu yeh project le. Tu jaa Brazil. Mai thek hu.
    Sid looked in her eyes for sometime .
Sid: Accha?? Chala jaau?? Thek hai. Chala jaata hu. Ab chale yaha se. Muje ghutan ho rahi hai yaha. Ya aur drama karna hai, ke muje nhi aana, mai yahi rah jaati hu.
    Sana looked at him stunned. What has just happened?? Why was he being so rude. She comes closer to him and brings her hand to his cheek., looking closely at him. He removes it and stands up.
Sid: Chale??
Sana: Kya hua hai baby?? Tu itna gussa kyu hai mere se?? Kya kiya hai maine??
Sid: Kuch nhi. Maine kaha na muje ghutan ho rahi hai. Mai car me wait karta hu. Tu aa jaa.
    Sid left the place. Sana was confused. What has she done wrong now?? Why was he behaving like this?? She locked the place, climbed into the car and they  drove in silence. Sid and Sana entered his flat. Maa was  in her bedroom. Sid walked to her room with Sana behind him. He hugged Maa and she hugged him back. She hugged Sana too. Sid was standing leaning to the cupboard watching this with no expression on his face.
Maa: Thek ho na dono??
Sana: Ha Maa.
Sid: Maa khaana lagvao. Muje bhuk lagi hai.
    Saying this he left the room. Maa understood something is wrong again between these too, but knew they will solve it by themselves. There was a silence at the dinning table. Only Maa spoke. Sana was looking at Sid. He didn't even look her way once. She felt tears forming at the back of her eyes. But she blinked it away. She spoke to Maa instead. Sid finished his food and got up and left to his room.
Maa: Isse kya hua hai??
Sana: Naraaz hai mujse.
Maa: Kyu??
Sana: Pata nhi Maa. Par aap tension mat lo. Thek ho jaayega sab
Maa: Pata hai muje beta. Tu sab thek kar degi. Gussa bahot jaldi aata hai usse, par maan bhi jaata hai jaldi.
Sana: Jaldi?? Maa mujse to nhi maanta vo jaldi. Kitna manana padta hai muje. Khadoos.
    Maa laughed out loud and Sana joined in. Sana was sitting in the hall with Maa. Maa excused herself saying she is tired with all that travelling. Sana  was left alone in the hall. She too thought of going to her room, but  she got up to walk to Sid's, instead. The door was not locked. Sid was laying on the bed his eyes closed. But his feet were moving which meant he was awake. Sana crawled into his bed and lay next to him. She rested her head on his chest. Sid must have sensed her in the room, but had not reacted. Sana lay there for few minutes and then looked up at him. His eyes were still closed.
Sana: Bata kya hua hai??
    Sid didn't respond.
Sana: Baby bol na kya hua hai. Shaam se gussa hua pada hai mujse. Kuch bata bhi nhi raha hai. Aisa kya kiya maine. Pata to chale muje?? Bol na please.
Sid:  Kuch nhi. Muje sone de.
Sana: Nahi maine nhi soone dena. Tu bata muje kya hua hai??
Sid: Mai he chala jaata hu yaha.....
Sana: Nahi nhi rehne de. Mai chali jaati hu. Tu mat jaa apne room se.
    Sana was hurt now. Sid has never treated her in this manner. He was being very rude to her. She cannot take it anymore. She got up and came out of his room. She had tears in her eyes . She walked to the balcony, closed the door connecting it to the hall and  sat on the couch. She can't bear Sid being angry with her. It hurts. She took her legs up and rested  her head on her knees. She was crying now. After few minutes she heard the terrace door open and looked up to see Sid standing towering over her. He held his hand towards her.
Sid: Ander chal.
Sana: Nahi. Muje nhi aana.
Sid: I'm sorry.
    Sana looked the other way. She was angry with him.
Sid: Bola na sorry??
Sana: Siddharth tu jaa yaha se. Muje nhi aana tere sath.
Sid: Gussa mai hu aur mana bhi mai he raha hu.
Sana: To aayi the na mai tuje manane. Tune room se nikaal diya muje.
Sid: Maine tuje nhi nikaala. Mai chala jaa raha tha.
Sana: Par room to tera he hai na??
Sid: Yahi, yahi baato se problem hai muje. Tu muje aur iss ghar ko dil se apna he nhi samjati. Mai chahta hu tu muj par apna haq jataye. Mujse koi cheez ke leye zidd kare. Aaj tuje mujse jo bhi baat karni the vo yaha bhi ho sakti the. Tu uss ghar ko apna samjati hai. Par isse nhi. Maa tuje comfortable feel karene ke leye kya nhi karti. Mai kitna koshish karta hu ke tu muje puri tarah apna samje. Par tu hum dono ko apne aap se dur dakel deti hai.
    Sana stands up and look right into his eyes
Sana: Pehli baat to tu Maa ko hum dono ke beech me mat la. Maa mere leye kya hai vo sirf mai he jaanti hu. Aur kis haq se mai tere ghar ko ya tuje apna samjhu?? Diya hai tune muje koi haq??
    Sid looks confused and anxious now
Sid: Kya matlab??
Sana: Kuch nhi chod.
    He pulls her by her arm as she tried to turn away from him
Sid: Nahi chod nhi. Ab baat nikli hai to bol he de. Kya bolna chahti hai tu.
Sana: Siddharth mai tujse pyaar karti hu yaar. Bahot pyaar. Par tu?? Muje nhi pata?? Kis haq se is ghar ko mai apna kahu?? Kya hu mai teri?? Girlfriend hu?? Kya hu?? Bol ab chup kyu hai.
    Sid was shocked to hear this revelation from Sana. He has not expected it to come so suddenly. And was not at all ready to express his feelings. He turned from her, not able to face her. Fresh tears started flowing from her eyes. Sana was disappointed. She knew he would not say it. But turning away as if rejecting her made her wince in pain. She was angry too.
Sana: Kya hua?? Dar gaya?? Bas itni he himmat hai. Fir na tu muje yeh tuje apna na samjane ka lecture mat de.
    She pulled him to turn around and poked her finger in his chest
Sana: Mai to tuje apna samjhti hu. Par tu?? Nahi na?? To badi badi baate band kar. Aur yeh apnapan jatana bhi.
    She turned and started walking away. This brought Sid back to reality. He rushed forward and pulled her and stopped her by hugging her from behind.
Sid: Mat jaa aise. Please please. Mat.
Sana: Chod muje Siddharth. Jaane de.
    He didn't loosen his grip.
Sid: Tune kaha tu mujse pyaar karti hai. Hai na?? Please meri ek baat maan. Ruk ke baat sun le meri. Please baby.
    Sana signed heavily and then nodded her head. He turned her into his arms to face her. She looked directly at him, and saw him plead with his eyes.
Sid: Please bait ke baat kare??
    Sid took her arm and made her sit on the couch. He sat on the floor on his knees, taking her hand in his. He looked at her a little hesitantly and then looked down. Sana was watching his reaction.
Sid: Baby mai kya bolu samaj nhi aa raha hai. Yeh mere leye ekdum acchanak....
Sana: Acchanak?? Kya tuje kabhi nhi laga ke mai tujse pyar karti hogi?? Sach bol siddharth. Kya tuje kuch bhi mehsus nhi hota??
Sid looked at her now.
Sid: Sana muje thoda time chahiye. Yeh mere leye bahot mushkil hai. Tere pehle meri life me kuch bhi khush ho aisa nhi tha. Sab jagah sirf andhera tha. Par tu aayi aur mai khush rehne lag gaya. Bahot girlfriends bani. Kuch ko maine choda, kuch ne muje. Kabhi kisi se pyaar nhi kiya aur na jataya. Tu alag hai. Mai kuch commitment karne se dar raha hu. Please samaj baby. Muje darr lag raha hai ke mmai.... yeh hai hamare beech usse kho na du. Tuje kho na du. Muje thoda time de please.
    Sana's heart went out for him. He was scared that everything will change once he commits to something. He is scared of that change. She understands. She totally understand. She too slipped down on the floor and collects him in her arms and hugged him tightly. Relief flood through him.
Sana: Siddharth par mai serious hu. Tu vo project lega aur Brazil bhi jaayega. Samja??
    He shifted behind and looked at her.
Sid: Yeh tune acchanak apna mann kaise badal liya?? Muje nhi jaana yaar. Nahi rehna vaha tere bagair.
Sana: Baby aise mat kar please. Dekh aage chal kar bhi tuje kabhi kahi jaana pade to tu hum dono ke wajah se aise piche nhi hat sakta. Kaam ke apni ahmiyat hai na?? Promise kar tu ha bolega??
Sid: Kise tuje??
Sana: Muje to tu ha bolega he, par is waqt is project ko.
Sid: Thek hai dekhte hai.
Sana: Aur ek baat bata tune kal event kyu nhi attend kiya??
Sid: Yeh sab patti tuje Arun ne padai hai na??Ab samjha mai.
Sana: Baby usko kuch mat bol. Vo bahot respect karta hai teri. Tere leye accha he soochega. Aur please mere wajah se aise events miss mat kar.
Sid: Baby tere wajah se nhi, muje nhi attend karna tha isleye nhi gaya.
Sana: Ok
Sid: Ab chal sone. Usse pehle muje kuch karna bhi hai tere sath??
Sana: Kya??
Sid: Chal room me batata hu.
    They both laughed and walked to his room.