Unspoken Desire (Completed)

"Emotional Torment"

    Sid came out of  the house, sat in the car and left for the hotel . Arun had already made arrangements for his stay in a hotel in case he needed to stay. Sid called Arun while travelling to the hotel, checked in his  room and sat on the bed with his head in his hand feeling as if it may explode. He had taken her new number before he left.
Sid: Aapna contact number de.
    Sana gave the number.
Sid: Kitne acche se plan kiya tha na tune. Naya number, nayi jagah. Tu sach me muje mere bacche ke baare me nhi batane wali the na?? Sana mai sach me tuje nhi jaanta. Iss Sana ko to mai bilkul nhi jaanta. Aur jes Sana ko mai jaanta tha na vo hai he nhi. Vo ek dhoka hai.
Thousands of emotions inside him were making him tremble as he sat in the hotel room. He felt feverish. He felt he wanted to punch something hard. This weird emotions inside him was so powerful he had to go and stand under a shower thinking the hot water may wash the emotions away.  He came out of the bathroom feeling a bit better. His rigid bones had relaxed, but his mind was still in a turmoil. There was no time. He has to act fast, he thought. He called Maa.
Sid: Hi Maa.
Maa: Kya hua Siddharth?? Tu thek to hai?? Sana thek hai na??
Sid: Abhi bhi aapko uski he fikar hai. Usse ke baare me pucha??
Maa: Siddharth maine tere baare me bhi pucha. Baccho ki tarah baat mat kar.
Sid: Baccha.
    Sid started laughing out aloud.
Maa: Kya hua hai tuje. Teri tabiyat to sahi hai??
Sid: Maa vo mere bacche ki Maa banne wali hai.
    They was a silence on the other end for  a long time.
Sid: Shocking hai na. Socho usse yaha aise dekh kar muje kaisi laga hoga. Mere to pairo tale se zameen sarak gayi.
Maa: Siddharth...
Sid: Maa please ab aap isme bhi uski side mat lena. Muje pata tha ke maine uske sath galat kiya hai. Usse bachane ke leye he sahi par mere taraf se galti hue the. Mai yaha aaya uski side sunne ke leye. But she is pregnant with my baby for six months and I'm not aware of it. Muje samaj nhi aa raha hai kaise react karu. Muje yeh bhi samaj nhi aa raha ke mai khus hu ya dukhi hu, ya naraaz hu, ya hasu, ya ro du. Mera dimaag kuch kaam nhi raha hai.
Maa: Siddharth mere bacche pehle tu shant ho jaa. Mai samaj rahi hu teri haalat. Jab mai itne shock me hu to tera dil ka haal kya hoga. Yeh Sana ne galat kiya. Par ab jo hona tha vo ho gaya. Kya soocha hai tum dono ne.
Sid: Uska sooch ne ka time khatam ho gaya. Bahot karli usne apni marzi. Ab yeh mere bacche ke baat hai. Aur mere bacche ko vo sab cheeze milegi jo vo deserve karta hai aur jo uska haq hai aur uski baap ke hasiyat hai. Sana ko meri baat manni padegi. Infact usne meri baat maan li hai. Hum shaadi kar rahi hai. Aap di aur jiju ke sath kal beas uske parents ke ghar pahocho. Maine Arun ko arrangements karne bola hai aapki vaha aane ka. Arun bhi aayega aap ke sath. Jiju se mai baat karta hu. Aap log bas aa jaao yaha.
Maa: Itne jaldi aur aise shaadi...
Sid: Maa vo six months pregnant hai. Ab mera baccha Mumbai ke best hospital me paida hoga. Uske leye sab jaldi jaldi karna padega na. Aur ab muje aap ke ladli pe bilkul bharosa nhi raha. Kahi firse bhaag na jaaye.
Maa: Siddharth baar baar aise mat bol.
Sid: Aapko uske khilaaf kuch nhi bolna ya sunna hota hai na?? Maine abhi aapko bataya ke usne kya kiya par aap uske leye kuch nhi boli.
Maa: Are bola to sahi ke usne galat kiya. Ab kya tere jaise gussa batau. Muje andaaza hai tune kya haal kiya hoga us bichari ka.
Sid: Maa you are really impossible.
Maa: Par tu thek hai na baccha??
Sid: Ha aapse baat karke thek lag raha hai. Chalo aap tayari kar lo kal aane ke.
Maa: Thek hai. Aur tu khayaal rakh apna. Mere leye teri khushi sab se zyaada zaruri hai.
Sid: Jaanta hu Maa.. Aur ha Maa mai aap ko number bhej raha hu. Kal nikalne se pehli uske ghar me call kar ke bol dena ke aap mera rishta le kar aa rahe ho unki beti ke leye.
Maa: Tere shaadi ke baare me soocha tha. Par yeh nhi soocha tha ke yeh aise hogi.
Sid: Maine bhi nhi Maa. Bye.
Maa: Bye.
    He made one call to his jiju and then to Arun. He made one more call. To Sana. She picked the call after a long time.
Sid: Hum kal morning jaldi niklenge. Panch sade panch gante ki drive hai. Mai 8 baje lene aa raha hu. Aur jo bolna hai apne ghar valo ko aaj he bol dena. Meri Maa kal morning me call karne wali hai tere ghar.
    He didn't say anything else and disconnected  the call. There was nothing more to say to each other now.
    Sana was sitting in her bedroom when he had called. He had just barged in ordered around and left. And she couldn't do anything. He was furious that she has not told him about the baby. He never spoke about Rashmi. He still didn't. How was he going to explain  about this marriage to Rashmi?? That was not her concern nor her business. She really wanted to lead a peaceful life in this beautiful town. But fate didnt allow her to. Was she ever going to settle. Is she ever going to belong somewhere. The irony of her life is she doesnt belong to anyone nor anywhere. She was lost in thoughts, when Moni entered. She sat on bed next to her and tapped Sana's  hand trying to console her
Moni: Thek hai tu??
Sana: Maine kabhi nhi soochta tha vo muje dhund lega. Meri life me to kabhi bhi sukun nhi mila muje. Ab to pata nhi kya kya hone wala hai mere sath.
Moni: Kuch nhi hoga. Sab thek ho jaayega.
Sana: Moni mai nhi jaana chahti. Muje nhi karni hai shaadi.
Moni: Dekh Sana. Vaise tu chahe tab tak tu yaha reh sakti hai. Par yeh sab kya permanent ho sakta hai. Tu kehti hai tu job karegi par fir baby ke dekhbhal kaise karegi. Tu galat mat samaj na. Mai to hu hamesha tere sath, par jo vo life tere bacche ko de sakta hai vo iss stage par tu nhi de sakti usse. Aur vo iss bacche ka haq hai. Tu soochna, vo iss bacche ko yeh haq dena chahta hai. Kai log to bacche ka sun kar bhag jaate hai. Usne aise nhi kiya. Tujse koi sawaal nhi kiya tere pregancy ke baare me. Kya usne yeh pucha ke yeh baccha kiska hai?? Nahi na?? Jaise he usse pata chala usne tere bagair bole apni zimmedari apna le. Usne jo bhi kiya galat kiya. Par kya uska gussa hone galat hai?? Sana vo sirf tera nhi uska bhi baccha hai na?? Aur vo tum dono ke leye sahi karne ke koshish kar raha hai. Muje bharosa hai tum dono ke beech bhi thode time ke baad sab kuch thek ho jaayega.
Sana: Hum dono ke beech kuch thek nhi ho sakta moni. Kabhi bhi nhi. Tu jo bol rahi hai vo sab thek hai. Par Rashmi ke baare me kya?? Usne aaj tak mujse Rashmi aur uske rishte ke baare me Nahi bataya. Aur ab yeh shaadi karne chala hai. Pata nhi kya hoga aage.
Moni: Kuch nhi hoga. Tu tension mat le. Aur yeh bhi to ho sakta hai na ke Rashmi itni important he na ho uske life me.
Sana: Vo kitni important hai ya nhi hai kam se kam vo to bolta na. Aaj bhi aakar bas itna saara gussa kiya aur chala haya.
Moni: Sana uska gussa karna banta hai dear. Tu apne aap ko uski jagah rakh kar dekh.... Accha chal packing ke tune??
Sana: Nahi yaar himmat he nhi ho rahi hai.
Moni: Mai jaanti the. Chal mai kar deti hu, tere leye packing.
Sana: Muje bahot dar lag raha hai moni.
Moni: Sana tu itna kyu pareshaan ho rahi hai. Sab Accha he hone wala hai tere sath tu dekh.
Sana: Ha jiski shuruvat kal mere ghar jaane se hone wala hai. Aaj ek tamasha hua hai. Ab kal ek aur hoga.
    Sid has arrived to pick Sana up at eight in the morning. He had rang the bell and Maasi had welcomed him in. Maasi was a very loving lady. She offered him tea and he had accepted it this time. When Maasi came with tea she sat on a couch opposite him.
Maasi: Naasta karoge beta??
Sid: Nahi nhi thank you Aunty.
Maasi: Ek baat bolu beta, bura to nhi maanoge??
Sid: Jee boleye na.
Maasi: Beta kahi baar zindagi me haalat apne bas me nhi hote. Insaan uss waqt vohi karta hai jo usse sahi lagta hai. Fir vo nateje ke baare me nhi soochta. Nayi zindagi ke shuruvat karne jaa rahe ho. Naye zimmedari khusi se apna rahe ho. Bahot acche insaan ho. Hamesha khush rehna.
Sid: Thank you Aunty.
    Sana could hear voices from outside. She knew Sid was here. She felt she doesn't have strength to get up and walk through that door. She had called Shehbaaz and her mom and told them everything. They both has reassured her that they will talk to her dad and handle everything. Her mom seemed happy. She had so wanted her daughter to marry and get settled. And now she was going to marry. A marriage of convenience of which her mom didn't knew.  What twists and turns her life was going to take she had no idea., but today she wanted to disappear not to some place but like in the thin air. She felt her baby kick inside her. This was frequent now a days. It was like if she was stressed out about something it would kick hard. As if telling her that everything will be alright. Moni entered her room.
Moni: Sana vo aa gaya hai.
Sana: Haa aati hu.
Moni: Thek hai tu aa jaana. Mai tere bags leke jaati hu. Accha tune tablet le. Tuje nausea feel ho raha tha na??
Sana: Ha li. Par usse bahot neend aati hai moni.
Moni: Ha to thek hai na. Panch gante to tum dono raste me gappe to lagane waale ho nhi. So lena. Kam jagda karoge.
    The both laughed and Sana got up and hugged her tight.
Sana: Baby jab hoga to Mumbai aana baby se milne. Baby ka naam tu rakhegi.
    They hugged each other with tears in their eyes.
    Moni came out of the room with bags in her hand and Sid saw her. He rushed forward and took the suitcases from her. She smiled at him
Sid: Monica. Thank you. Har cheez ke leye.
Moni: Koi nhi. Siddharth ji....
Sid: Siddharth.  Only Siddharth.
    They both laughed.
Moni: Siddharth uska khayaal rakhna please. She is six months pregnant. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
    Sid nodded and heard Sana enter the room. She was wearing a light blue plain loose kurti with white loose pant. Had tied her hair in a pony tail. Sid looked away not wanting to develop any feelings for her. Sana went and hugged Maasi and they bid good bye with tears in their eyes.