i love you • formula one

23

your continued support honestly means so much to me . thank you for sticking with my unreliable ass - i love you

please don't forget to vote and comment throughout ❤️

first person

~***~

My knees were tucked up to my chest as I leaned against the train window. Watching as the ominous dark clouds rolled over the southern fields filled my stomach with unease. With no-one to keep me company on the journey and my wireless headphones running out of charge, I was stuck with my thoughts. If I wasn't so consumed with the three little words Nicky had uttered to me, I was focused on the red Volkswagen Polo that had been following Oli and I. It was hard to convince myself something that I didn't believe in, and I had a horrible moment of realisation that the car looked very similar to the one at the petrol station the previous day. My heart thumped at the idea that someone had been following me, however I was quick to remind myself that we were not followed to the train station so how could they know where I was at this very moment. I wish I had made a note of the numberplate, or got a good enough look at the driver.

My heart raced for different reasons whenever Nicky's beautiful face came into my mind. I could imagine his charming laugh, and longed for the warmth of his embrace the very moment I got off of the train. I considered telling him about what happened to Oliver and I - on one hand, it would distract the conversation from the awkward 'I love you' part, but, on the other, Nicky would definitely worry.

As much as I wanted to arrive in London, the train journey didn't give me nearly enough time to plan everything out. I hadn't made it past 'Hi, Nicky' before every possible bad scenario played out. Maybe it was the dancer in me that wanted to have everything detailed step by step to avoid the chances of anything going wrong, or maybe it was the anxious girlfriend finally making an appearance. At least my brain had already drawn out the worst possible scenario: Nicky tells me it was all an accident and he doesn't actually love me, and then proceeds to dump me and leaves me alone for the red Volkswagen Polo to pick up. That can't happen... right?

With the flips my stomach was doing, I felt like I was on a rollercoaster. I spotted Nicky almost immediately on the platform. Through a gap in the large crowd of people (who definitely were not adhering to the one metre rule, but were luckily wearing masks), I noticed Nicky's hands rolling over each other as he scanned the crowd for me. I knew he, like me, was nervous.

After letting out a lengthy exhale, I raised my arm slightly in the air and gave it a little wave to grab his attention. I met his gaze with a warm smile of encouragement even though it was obscured with the mask on my face. My suitcase squeaked as I took off in a short run towards him, the urge outweighing any sense of control that I had wanted to have. His eyes squinted affectionately and he opened his arms for me to run into. It may have only been a few hours since we saw each other, but I missed him.

"Hey," he greeted once I pulled back from the hug.

My mouth opened to speak, but no words initially came out. I sighed softly in an attempt to unfreeze my vocal chords and reached a sanitised hand up to caress his stubbled cheek. "Thank you for letting me stay with you."

"It's no problem, babe. I couldn't subject you to the pain of spending more time with Lando," he joked. "Or your mother."

"So," I paused. In that moment, I wanted to bring everything up that had consumed my mind on the train journey and unload it on Nicky in the middle of this train station. You can't, you silly girl, you'll scare him off or cause a scene. Instead, I raked my mind for something else to finish my sentence. "You said I could choose what we have for dinner?"