i love you • formula one

27

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first person

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tuesday, 01/09/2020

I wasn't surprised when my phone call with Lando was filled with little other than his apologies. In the end, we didn't speak later Saturday evening because I filled my time with Nicky. I received a phone call early Sunday morning instead, before Lando busied himself with the day. I was a little sad about our previous encounter, but he just had to mention Anthoine and I forgave him. He's my best friend; he'd never intentionally put me down or hurt my feelings. This weekend was tough on everyone in the motorsport community and I knew that Lando doesn't always handle his emotions in a healthy way. Sometimes it's easier to just move on from a situation.

Because of Lando's initial reaction, I was determined not to bring up the red car again no matter how much it made me worry. The topic was something I could vent about to Nicky, however I didn't want to it to become the focus of our late night talks for the sole purpose of him worrying too much about me. He would send me a text almost every hour just to check in on me. The gesture was very sweet and helped reassure me a little more.

I woke up early Tuesday morning with the intention of spending the entire day away from the computer. Monitoring the CCTV wasn't doing my mental health any favours, or at least that's what I was told by Nicky. Besides, that's no way to spend a twenty first birthday.

My twenty first birthday was something I had been imagining since my eighteenth. Whilst the occasion had less significance in the UK, it was still an exciting milestone for me. There had been so much I had wanted to achieve by now that I had yet to do, however I have also achieved more than I could ever dream. The opportunities that the McLaren placement will be able to offer me exceeded all expectations. I'd be able to do something with my best friend, and that made me one of the luckiest girls in the entire world, especially when that best friend was Lando Norris.

Unfortunately, the first disappointment of the day, even when my expectations were already set extremely low, came when I checked my phone as soon as I opened my eyes. Amongst my other birthday messages from friends and family was a text from Oli Norris. A problem had arisen at his place of work which required his urgent attention and he didn't think he'd be able to find time to visit today, however he did promise that he'd be over at some point over the next few weeks to keep me company. I tried not to let my sadness show and reassured him that it wasn't a big deal. 

The difference in timezones meant that I needed to phone Sacha first or else I wouldn't be able to speak to him until it was no longer my birthday in Japan. His busy schedule meant that he was having early nights and early mornings. I caught him just after he had his dinner so he was more mellowed than his usual, hyperactive self. Lando ended up joining our Skype video call for a quick catchup with just the three of us. It made me realise how much I missed the time when we were all living together, home most of the time to keep each other company. Now, we're separated by timezones and thousands of miles.

Once that call ended, I quickly called my sister. I was pleasantly surprised to see my mum making an effort to wish me a happy birthday during that time, however there was still a chill in the way she looked at me. It took a little over an hour to get though the rest of my friends and family, including my dad. His work was keeping him busy in Newcastle but he promised that he'd be down at the first opportunity to see me.