Midnight Blues // Jake Kiszka

eight

A/N: secondhand embarrassment & smut; 18+ 

Josh and I had been "dating" for a few months at this point and things were going alright, just as we had hoped. Since we got to Detroit, I hadn't seen Jake much and there was really no opportunity for us to see each other beside the times when it was with everyone else. Although a piece of me was breaking, the more time went on, the more I forgot about Jake. We had only had one night together and I realized that I didn't really know him enough to be heartbroken. I had gotten closer to Josh too, we were pretty much inseparable. 

I lay lounged on the couch of Josh's hotel room, looking through some paper menus. 

"Josh, what are you hungry for?" I yelled to him in the bathroom. 

"I don't know, babe. It's whatever you want." 

"You have to pick, you know how indecisive I am." 

"Fine, um how about Thai?" 

"I'm up for that. Wanna come look at a menu?" 

Josh walks over and it took me by surprise. His hair was wet from the shower, loose curls flopping all over his face. His body was covered in dew drops of shower water, glistening in the dim hotel room light and his lower half was covered solely by a white cotton towel. I averted my eyes, saying something about him covering up. 

The next thing I knew, his face was in front of mine, cupping my chin with his hand. 

"It's okay, you can look." He smirks. 

My heart was pounding. I hadn't really thought about Josh in that way before, but he was Jake's twin. It was hard not to recount the night Jake and I had shared back at the cabin and feel some similar feelings. 

"Josh, I--" 

"I don't know why we have been so PG. If you were interested, Freya, why didn't you say something?"

"Josh, I can't." 

"Can't what?"

"Be with you." 

"Be with me?" He laughed 

"Yes, relationship, this." 

"Freya, that wasn't what I meant. I meant sex."

"Oh!" 

"Even on that front, if you don't want to, we won't. It's as simple as that. We don't have to complicate things, I promise. It's whatever you want." 

"Can I think about it?" 

"Yeah of course," He kissed my forehead "Now let's order some food. I'm starving." 

As we went to pick the food up, I couldn't stop thinking about what Josh had said. I had known that he actually was interested in me and I hadn't really done my best to make sure he knew that I was not interested in him that way. It was hard to do without giving away that I was hung up over his twin brother. 

** 

walking back through the hallways of the hotel, my mind started to wander. Somewhere along the intricate columns and gaudy carpeting was Jake. Josh and I had eaten our dinner in silence while a western played in the foreground. I knew he knew there was an awkward air between us now because he had suggested something and I hadn't really taken to the idea too well. My hand drifted toward my phone, and I drafted a text to Jake: 

Any chance you'd be up for a nighttime adventure? 

I hit send before I could think twice. I placed my phone down, my heart beating like a drum. Josh had fallen asleep, the spaghetti western still raging on in the background. When 40 minutes passed and the western had ended, discouragement took up the vacancy in my chest. I put a blanket on Josh and I headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed. That was when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out quickly and saw Jake's name light up my screen.