Midnight Blues // Jake Kiszka

eleven

I opened the door and was again met with darkness.

"Hello?" I asked

"Freya?" Jake said.

"Jake?"

I flipped the light on and saw him kneeling on the floor, his hands and feet were bound. I ran toward him, panicking, trying to undo the knots.

"Move and he gets it bitch."

Jita moved out from the shadows and stood in front of me, behind Jake, knife in hand.

Wake up, wake up.  

I got up suddenly, gasping for any air I could forage. I wasn't prone to getting nightmares unless my conscious was heavy. My heart was pounding out of my chest cavity and I needed to move around and get blood flowing into other places. I got up and paced around the room aimlessly. I wasn't sure whether it was my place to go and check on Jake but I couldn't help but feel super paranoid. Josh had told me that it was best to keep everything between Jake and I lowkey for now, and try and wait out the press until something scandalous with another musician happened, but I couldn't help but think of that nightmare over and over again. It was so vivid. It felt so real. I opted for calling him instead. 

The line rang once, twice, three times. My heart was starting to race again, my hands were starting to get clammy. 

"Hello, Freya? Are you okay?" His voice was padded with sleep, but concern took the forefront. 

"Yes, I'm okay, are you okay though?" I asked, my heart starting to slow down a bit. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. Just got some inspiration, so using that." 

"Oh, that's good. I'm glad." 

"Freya, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just had a bad nightmare is all. Goodnight, Jake." 

"Do you want me there?" He asked. 

"No, no. We have the paparazzi to watch out for." 

"Fuck them, if you want me there, I'm there." 

"Jake..." 

"Is that a yes?" 

"Yes." 

"I'm on my way then." 

My heart was still pounding, something felt off. Not with Jake, but I just had a bad feeling. I knew my bad feelings were usually right, and I just wanted to believe I didn't have the power to manifest that. 

The knock on the door was slight, almost hesitant. I would have barely heard it if I wasn't waiting for it. I went to the door with hesitation, making sure to duck out of the way of the door in case anyone was watching. Jake ducked in speedily, giving only a nod of acknowledgement as I opened the door. Once he was safely inside and we were sure that we hadn't been caught, he enveloped me in his arms tightly. He didn't say anything and neither did I, but he rested his cheek on the top of my head, assuring me that he was there. We would've stayed like that forever if I hadn't started shivering. We shifted to the bed, where it wasn't long before my ears were met with Jake's light snoring. His heartbeat against my back made my heart race, and kept me alert in the still darkness. I jammed my eyes closed, trying to focus on my breathing. It was moments like this that terrified me. The proximity of another person to me. It was more so that it was Jake. The dream hadn't left my head, and I knew that I had personally put his life in danger. 

"Jake?" I whispered

My question was returned with a slight grumble. 

"Do you hate me?" 

"hate you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"Yes. Do you?"

"Why would I hate you?"

"I jeopardized Josh's safety and yours. I didn't do the one job I was asked to." 

"Josh can fend for himself, and so can I. We like having you around, Freya. We could never hate you." 

"I'm falling in love with you, Jake." I blurted out. 

There was silence swirling in the air. I could feel the blood rushing to my ears as my body was filled to the brim with regret at the words that just freed themselves from my mind. It was out in the open and whatever he said could either make me collapse in on myself or free my mind. I had closed myself off for so long, being objectified the only attention I had needed to keep my lack of self-esteem from rising to the surface and taking over my sight. My eyes started to water, anticipating his answer. Instead, his lips crashed onto mine. My heart swelled up and my body relaxed as he brushed his lips along my jaw, trailing kisses down my neck. He wasted no time, shifting on top of me. I suppressed any noises that threatened to escape my lips, in sheer fear of Josh hearing us. 

He pulled away only to slip my underwear off from under my oversized shirt. I couldn't see a damn thing in the darkness of the hotel room and my heart was pounding, not being able to anticipate his next move. I felt the heat of his lips as they made contact with the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, lips grazing my center. I stifled a moan. 

"We can't have you being loud now." He said, pressing his hand over my mouth. 

He shifted his weight, and before long his hand was replaced by fabric. He tied it around my head, suppressing all sounds. 

"That's better," He said "Now relax." 

His tongue swept my torso, lingering only to create purple blossoms on my skin. My head had long since been thrown back. He made me dizzy and comforted all at once. I was all in. His hair tickled my hips as he traced along my waistline with his tongue. He lifted the hem of my t-shirt slightly as his mouth made contact with my center. He gripped both of my calves, pushing them further aside, granting him more access. My anxiety rose. I had had sex with Jake so many times, but every single time I felt my thoughts wandering towards all the imperfections he was probably seeing. I shifted slightly, feeling more bloated than I had ever felt before. Luckily, I had been gifted with the cover of the darkness, allowing me to feel more comfortable in my skin. 

"Are you okay, baby?" He asked, concern lining his voice. 

His shift from dominant to caring, his velvety voice and the thought of him between my legs made every part of my body ache for him. I mumbled an 'mhm' and let my hands drift to his hair. I let his hair tangle between my fingers, tugging ever-so-slightly. I swirled his tongue along my slit, varying pressure. I tugged on his hair harder, being unable to resist so much space between us. I could feel him smirk as he swiveled his tongue around, plunging two fingers into me. I gasped, the fabric from my mouth slipping off slightly. He began to pump his fingers in and out of me as he made more complex motions with his tongue. I needed him close to me, in me. 

I attempted to pull him up from between my legs, signalling that to him. 

"Now now, someone's hasty." 

He curled his fingers slightly inside me. He made his way to my inner thighs, sucking on the skin. My legs started to shake and I felt the catch in my core release as the euphoria struck me. He chuckled and removed the fabric from my mouth, placing a soft kiss on my lips. 

"You're evil." I said, my legs still shaking. 

He simply laughed and helped me clean up. When we were back in bed, it struck me that he hadn't really responded to my confession.

"Jake?" I asked. 

"Huh?" 

"Am I wasting my time?"

"What do you mean?" 

"Do you think you could ever love me?"

"More and more each day." 

With that he turned over and the sound of his breathing flooded my ears once again. 

**

sorry this took forever! I've been so busy (and unmotivated) lately! Hope everyone is safe & thanks again for reading! ^^