Trouble

Chapter 39

Authors rant

Thank you for the 10k+ reads guys. I love you guys so much. Thank you for supporting my story. I am so happy right now..

I didn't proof read this chapter.

Xiao Zhan's POV

It is chilly today but the cold wind is not enough to numb my pain. Everyone says that if one person, stood in too much cold for long, they will freeze to death, their senses will go numb. The chilly air is freezing me, but it is not enough to make me numb. It is not reducing my pain. I was always thought I had a clear conviction. I knew what is black and white. But I was late to understand that there is no pure white and wrong. Everything is grey. You have to be smart and decide with your heart to find who is wrong and who is right. You should not judge a person based on the norms set by the society, but we have to see what is in their heart, their intention, which I failed to look. After I regained my consciousness I was in a hospital bed and my cousins were there. Thanks to Jin Goo, who took me to hospital and informed my cousins. He even came to talk to me. I was ashamed to meet his eyes. So I didn't dare to look at him in the eye. All I did was sat there on the bed, and listen to whatever he said. And his words were like a new realization for me.

Jin Goo said. " Zhan... I don't know what your opinion about me in your mind is, after knowing that I am a cop and my brother is a gang leader. But you should know one thing. In the case mafia gangs, there can be atleast three kind of people. Those who born into this life, like us. Our family was a mafia family and we had to keep fighting to keep us alive, there wasn't any choice other than that. Next one is the people who joins on their greed for money and power. The third one is the ones who had no choice but choose this, like Yibo. He never wanted this, when life took away everyone dear to him, he fought to keep those who remained. There wasn't any fairies or angels to help him walk through the right path. But still, there was light in his mind, that he never cause any harm to an innocent person. He will always let them get to safety. He did kill people, but if you look into the profile of them, you can understand, what kind of people were them, they were the powerful kind of people who are beyond any of your officers reach. I am not saying what he did is correct, because there is no absolute right or wrong, it depends on the intention of people. Keep that in mind. You said you killed him because he killed your uncle. Now your uncle is alive Zhan.. What are you gonna do now?" He simply said that with a small smile. He helped me to go and visit my uncle. Yes it was indeed him, safe and sound. When I was saying bye to Jin Goo, in my peripheral vision, I saw the Kim Rae Won glaring at me. Jin Goo noticed where I was looking and reassured me that he wont kill me. What a relief, I guess. But how can anyone kill an already dead person.

When Yibo died, he took my soul with him, I am just a living dead person. I went to see my uncle, he was conscious at that time and I hugged him dearly. He is like father to me. He asked me about Yibo and he told me that Jin Goo, told him that I can show him the person who saved his life. He wanted to thank him personally. It broke my heart one more time. What can I do. I wanted to cry, but I controlled infront of my uncle. Thanks to Shijie, She noticed my helplessness and saved me from the room.

I went back to my ward and sat there staring at nothing. My cousins advised me to take a break and go home. They know, if I am upset, I will withdraw from everyone. Not everyone can break through my barrier except my mother. NO.. There was also another person, Wang Yibo, who made me alive. Now that he is not here I can feel how much my life depended on him. I cant even see my face in the mirror, the guilt is way too much for me to handle. I wanted to run, hide and wallow in my guilt. When my cousins assured me that they will take care of uncle and by te mean time I need to pull myself together. I informed the station, that I am taking leave for a week. Now I am driving towards Chongqing, towards my home, my escape spot, my sanctuary.