𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 // 𝑶𝒊𝒌𝒂𝒘𝒂 𝑿 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

L҉e҉v҉e҉l҉ T҉h҉r҉e҉e҉

"I'll be stuck on this forever."
┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

All the time I spent feeling sorry for myself, could have been used to fix this. None of this was his fault like I thought it was. It was mine. I did this to myself. If I had just listened then maybe I could have been with him.

I try to ignore the burning in my eyes and the tightness in my throat. I fold up the map and run into the dining room.

I pick up the cardboard tray from the table and grasp it tightly. I don't think I can pretend I'm okay right now.

I grab the wrapped up sandwich off of my tray and throw the rest away. I walk into the cabin slowly, making sure that nobody is inside. I run to my room, locking it behind me.

I sit down on my bed and place the sandwich next to me. I take a deep breathe, then it seems like all of my control shatters. The tears just start to fall from my face. I wrap the covers around me and bury my face in them. This really is all my fault. Even if it wasn't, I would still think that.

I loved him.

After awhile, I decide it would be best for me to try and suppress it for now. I unwrap the sandwich and take a small bite, ignoring the hot tears rolling off my cheeks.

I feel ridiculous right now but I can't bring myself to care. I use my forearm to wipe my eyes dry. What did I do? I've never liked anyone before him and well- maybe it's my fault.

We were a fake couple and we held hands, hugged, and even kissed once. My heart beats faster even at the thought of what happened. I try to shrug it off. The last thing I need is to fall for him more.

Who wouldn't fall for someone even after all that? Well... me, actually. My heart doesn't seem to beat faster when I hug Kenma or Hajime. I've known them for years and I know how amazing they are, but I just don't feel that way about them.

Me and Oikawa have only known each other for a couple weeks, but I can't even describe how I feel when I'm around him. I feel happy of course, but it's deeper than that. I just... I don't love him, right? That can't be right. I've never loved anyone, so I wouldn't know anyway.

I can't exactly afford to love him either, he's probably moved on. By now, my tears have subsided. I can't help but think about how I feel. I did like him but did I love him? It doesn't matter now, we can't be together anyway.

If I never met him then maybe I wouldn't be sad right now.

No, he's made me happier more than he's made me sad. I did this to myself. This whole thing is just a game. A game that was made against me.

I try to shift my focus to something I enjoy more. I like games. I would kill to go the arcade right now. Life feels like a game right now. I crawl out of my comforter and start finishing my sandwich. I'm probably just going to go to sleep after this.

I have to let go of him, no matter how much it hurts me.

♡︎

The night passes by slowly, and eventually I wake up to a loud bell. It's breakfast. I get dressed and head to the dining hall. (Y/n) is sitting at the back table slouching, slowly eating her breakfast. She must not have gotten a lot of sleep last night. My fault, just like everything else.