We Love the Twin

Eddy, I'm sorry.

A/N: To anyone out there who can't handle mentions of sexual-abuse or rape, I suggest you proceed with caution in this chapter. It doesn't go into gruesome detail, but it mentions it more than previous chapters.
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The next morning was a bit hectic. I woke up early, to the sound of yelling. Climbing out of bed, I looked in the mirror. My hair had really started growing out. I suppose I can't dress like a boy anymore. Looking around, I realized there was a dress laid out for me. I picked it up and smiled. It was pale blue with white accents. It had swan feathers decorating the skirt, and it shimmered in the light. Alois had always called me his little swan.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in!" I called. Hannah strolled in soon after that.
"Hello, miss. Alois asked me to see if you need any help getting ready." she said. I shook my head. I could still hear yelling.
"I'll be fine on my own, thank you." I said. She nodded and left, leaving me to get dressed. I did as much and brushed out my hair. It's kind of curly when it's long.
I walked down the stairs hesitantly and winced as I identified the yelling people. It was Ciel and Alois.
"She's my sister! I won't allow her to stay here any longer!" Ciel yelled.
"Kiss my ass, Ciel! She came to me! She likes it here!" Alois yelled back.
"I don't care! Who knows what you could do to her?! You gave her an asthma attack last time she stayed here!" Ciel retorted.
"That wasn't my fault! I didn't realize she had asthma! If I had known, I wouldn't have asked her to dance at all!" Alois screamed in frustration. I peeked around the corner, only to see Claude handing them both swords. What the hell?!
"Bloody hell! Stop it right there!" I yelled, running between them. They held their weapons at the ready, pausing to look at me in confusion.
"Sinnie, get behind me." Ciel said, sparking my temper.
"I most certainly will not!" I said, hands on hips. "You two are being foolish! I do like it here! Alois is an old friend and I trust him completely! It's not his fault I had an asthma attack! And he most certainly knows better than to take advantage of me!" I yelled at Ciel. Then I turned toward Alois.
"And you!" I began. "Don't think you can just fight my brother and get away with it! I searched for him for years, and you helped! He's just being a bit protective! That's nothing too bad!" Then I rounded on Claude.
"And lastly, you!" I said. "Don't you dare try to have my best friend and my brother fight! You handed them real swords! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! You're a Grade A bitch, Claude! Even for a pathetic demon! At least Sebastian and Edmund have some sort of feeling! You don't even care if my brother ruins your dinner! What kind of damn demon are you?!" I was waving my arms in wide gestures, and I started to feel a bit dizzy. I took a few deep breaths. No one said anything. Everyone just stared at me in shock. I could swear even Claude's eyes grew a bit wide. Finally, Alois broke the silence.
"Little swan, I'm sorry." he said, taking a step towards me. "That was insensitive of me. Your brother doesn't have to kiss my ass. I should have thought about how you'd feel." He seemed truly ashamed. I nodded at him and smiled.
"I was in the wrong, as well, I suppose." Ciel lowered his sword. "I'm sorry, Sinnie. Next time I try to kill your friends, I'll ask first." Alois and I laughed at that. When I looked back to where Claude was, he had vanished.
"Why were you two fighting?" I asked. Alois shrugged.
"Ciel wanted to bring you home right away. I said you should have breakfast first. It's not good to ride on an empty stomach." he explained. I nodded.
"Ciel, you're so funny." I said, laughing as his eyes grew wide. "You were so determined to have me back. I guess there is something more than hatred in that frozen heart of yours." To my surprise, Ciel started snickering, then giggling, then full on laughing. I stood there in shock for a moment. His laugh was so beautiful. Alois seemed shocked too. Then we all started laughing together.
"Ciel, you never laugh!" Alois marveled.
"You should laugh more often! Your laugh is quite adorable!" I exclaimed.
"I just found it funny that you said such things. I mean, we all think these things, but only an optimist like you would actually voice them! Well said, Sinnie. I feel as though I can relax a bit around you." Ciel smirked at me before returning to his cold, serious self. I sighed.
"I suppose that's good to know." I said. Then I remembered the dress. "Oh! Thank you for the dress, Alois! It's quite lovely!" I smiled at him and he nodded.
"You're welcome, my little swan. The dress suits you. Blue really is your color." Alois smiled at me warmly. He cusses at everyone, I'm surprised he tries to hold his tongue around me. Maybe the earl does have a few manners. It's rather obvious he was raised on the streets, though. It sets him apart from others. I like it.
"Alois, I like it when you're being yourself." I said, taking him by surprise. "I like it better than when you're hurting people around you because you want to seem tough." I heard his breath catch in his throat.
"Y-you knew I-?" Alois stuttered. I just nodded.
"You're a good brother Alois. Stop beating yourself up by hurting others." I turned on my heel then, grabbing Ciel's wrist and walking out the door.
"You actually came to get me." I said to Ciel when we were outside.
"Of course I did, Sinnie." Ciel said. "About what you said in there, though. Do you consider Alois a brother?" Ciel seemed concerned by this. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"Yes, I do." I said, feeling awful as his face fell. "But you're my real brother. I consider Alois a brother because I lived with him for a year when I was so little I could hardly do anything myself. Alois saved me. He treated me like I was his own sister, even though he didn't have to. That's why I consider him a brother. But you're my real brother, and nothing can change that." Ciel looked at me. He nodded, but his face was an emotionless mask once again. He turned toward the trees.
"You can come out now." he called, his voice kind of soft. Sebastian stepped out from behind a tree, smirking. "Take us home."
"Yes, my lord." Sebastian bowed before grabbing Ciel and I. Once he was holding us in a way we wouldn't fall, he jumped high into the air and we were on our way home.
Ciel didn't talk to me at all for the rest of the day, so I decided to find Finny. As I'd expected, he was outside, tending to the bushes. I walked up behind him and put my hands around his eyes.
"Guess who." I said. He giggled.
"Could it be Sinnie Phantomhive?" he asked. I took my hands away and he turned around. "What on earth gave you the idea to cover my eyes and have me guess who it was?" He seemed rather confused. I just laughed and shrugged. He joined in the laughing, but then he got serious.
"Something wrong, Fin?" I asked. He shrugged and opened his mouth. Then he closed it again, thinking.
"You need to find Edmund." he said. "He was going crazy, worrying about you when you disappeared yesterday. He wouldn't even listen to me when I tried to tell him where you were. He was too busy running around, searching every corner of the yard, the mansion, and then the city." Finny's words really freaked me out. Was Edmund really that worried?
"Oh my gosh! This is all my fault! Where is he?! I have to apologize!" I exclaimed. Finny nodded.
"He's in the kitchen, last I saw." Finny said and I took off running toward the kitchen. I threw the door open. Sure enough, Edmund was in there. He was halfheartedly stirring a bowl of dough.
"Edmund!" I exclaimed, startling him. "I'm so sorry! I should have told you where I was going! It was all my fault! Will you forgive me?" I bowed my head solemnly, trying not to cry.
"Sinnie!" Edmund yelled. Strong arms pulled me close, and suddenly we were hugging. "I'm so glad you're okay! I was worried sick!" I nodded.
"I know. I'm sorry. I had to sort out my feelings, so I thought I'd go to Alois. I didn't mean to cause you worry." I said quietly. He stroked my head and nodded.
"I know. Its okay. I'm sorry for ditching you right after you got your memories back, though." he pulled back and smirked. "That was a jerk move." We laughed together, and the tears started falling. But they weren't sad tears anymore, they were happy tears, relieved tears, loving tears.
Suddenly, I was aware of my feelings for Edmund. I didn't like him as a brother. Not really. I loved him. I still love him. I can't change those feelings.
I stepped away from Edmund and ceased my laughing. I looked down at my feet. He stopped laughing too, and looked at me in confusion.
"Something wrong?" he asked, suddenly serious. I still find his strange accent mesmerizing.
"I- I have to tell you something Edmund, but first I have a question." I said.
"Ask me anything. I just want you to be happy." he replied. I nodded and looked up at him.
"How old are you?" I asked. He stiffened and looked at me curiously.
"I- I was fourteen when I was changed, so I'm really still fourteen. But uh... Technically, I'm like twenty or 21." Edmund said. I nodded.
"Tell me your story of before you became a demon. I want to know how you acted. How did you get this accent? What happened to your family?" I said. He took a step back.
"Sinnie, I-" his voice broke.
"That's an order. I have to know. What was your life like before you became a demon." I said. He nodded solemnly and looked down, a sad smile on his face.
"Fine. I guess I have no choice. Just... Don't change your view of me because of what I went through. I'm not a person to be pitied. I'm a monster to be destroyed." he agreed. I nodded and we crossed our pinkies(we used to do that when we were young to signify a promise).
"Okay, well..." he started. "I had a pretty great childhood with my family. We weren't rich and we didn't have the best life, but we knew how to have fun. We loved each other a lot..."
~~~Flashback brought to you from Edmund's pov!~~~
Father was always working. I didn't understand why he never had time for me. Mother always made time for me. She would take me out to explore the town, and she'd bring me on her errands. Every Wednesday, a man would show up, asking for money. If we didn't have the money, my dad would disappear for a week before he could return. He always looked really tired when he got back. But on Sundays, our whole family would hang out together. My mom, my dad, my sister, and me. My sister was my best friend. We did everything together. And we weren't just siblings, we were twins. Her name was Susan. We would have fun playing dumb little games like Hide and Seek or Tag together. She always had the brightest smile on her face, and she could always get me to smile. All I had to do was be around her and I was instantly happy. My mother, Lucy, was a very kind woman. She tried to shield my sister and I from any sort of problem. She would sing us songs to give us good dreams, and she had the best stories. For an example of what my family was like, let me tell you the story of the last Sunday we spent together.
My dad had seemed a little off on that day. He was overly tired and he could barely make it up the hill we were climbing. When we made it to the top, he sat against a tree and told Susan and I to go play.
"Come on, Susan! Let's play tag!" I yelled, and she started chasing me. I could always outrun her. She broke her leg when she was three, and it never fully healed, so she can't run too well. We played tag for a long time before we finally grew tired. We collapsed on the grass by my dad. Mom stood beside us, but she soon sat down as well, pulling us into her lap.
"I love you two so much. No matter what happens, always remember that." she said to us. It was as if she knew something would happen. If only I had realized it sooner.
That Wednesday, I was out with Susan. Mom had told us to go pick some fresh strawberries, and we brought back baskets full of them. But something was wrong when we got back. The door hung open, the hinges obviously broken. I pulled Susan behind me and stepped inside. When we entered the room, we saw them.
Our parents were tied up in a corner. A man towered over them, brandishing a knife. I watched with wide eyes, frozen in fear and shock. My mother saw us and her eyes widened. She started shaking and crying. I had never seen my mom cry.
She began jerking wildly, moving her head to the right. I understood. I took Susan to the corner and we hid, watching the scene play out before us. The man laughed and held up the knife.
"Prepare to meet your maker!" he yelled just before bringing his hand down and plunging the knife into my dad's heart. He screamed and fell limp. My mom started crying even more. She mouthed three words to us. I love you. I nodded and made a heart with my hands, sending it out to her. Then I turned away and covered Susan's eyes. We were both crying now, as we heard our mother's last, bloodcurdling scream.
Then he came for us.
"Where are you, brats?!" he yelled. "I saw your mom's reaction. I know you're here." We scrambled back farther into hiding, basically holding our breath to keep from making a sound. Unfortunately, Susan scrambled back and hit her bad leg. She gasped just loudly enough for that man to find her. I tried to yank her back, but the man grabbed her and pulled her away from me. I scrambled back and peered out at Susan and the man. I was frozen. I couldn't do anything to help. I felt useless.
"I guess the other brat ran on ya, kid. That's okay. You're in good hands now." the man laughed and forced Susan into a corner. He ripped off her skirt and her shirt, leaving her naked and shivering. Then he started taking his pants off. And he- he raped her. And I was forced to watch it. An old man raping my five-year-old twin. She screamed and cried as it happened.
"It hurts!!!" she would yell, throwing half-hearted punches at the man. I could tell she was growing weak. Her skin was torn in more places than one from his nails raking down her skin. She was bleeding badly. And I couldn't help. I had to sit there and watch as my own sister was raped and left for dead. The worst part was when she looked straight at me. Her body was being rocked back and forth as that man continued the deed. I watched. She looked straight at me.
"I love you." she whispered just loudly enough for me to hear, a single tear running down her cheek. Then I watched the light drain from my sister's eyes. I stayed in the corner, mortified by what I had just watched. And the man continued with the dead body of my twin until he was done. Then he put on his pants and left as if he hadn't done anything wrong.
That was the last day anyone saw them.
That was the last day I saw them.
That was the last day Peter, Lucy, and Susan Cheshire were seen alive by anyone.
~~~Back to the present, then.~~~
"After that, I was just a pickpocket. A lowly thief that everyone hated, yet pitied at the same time." Edmund concluded his story. I felt bad for him. I knew he didn't want to be pitied, but I couldn't help it. He most certainly was not a monster.
"Eddy, I'm so sorry." I said putting a hand on his shoulder and hugging him. I heard his breath hitch and he pulled back a bit, eyes wide.
"You- you called me Eddy." he said. I nodded and smiled at him.
"I know." I said. He smiled back at me, and it was a genuine smile. Not a half-hearted smile; but a bright, cheerful smile! He was so cute like that!
"Oh! What did you want to tell me?" he asked, suddenly remembering the reason I'd asked for that story. I took a deep breath and got ready to say it.
"Eddy..." I started, twiddling my thumbs and biting my lip. "I have feelings for you. Strong ones that I'm not entirely sure of yet. But I know I love you more than just as a brother figure or anything like that. When I was little, I was much too young to realize it, but I think I might love you for real Edmund." I looked up and met his eyes. He looked surprised for a moment, but then he frowned. He looked at me through squinted eyes for a moment before smirking and embracing me.
"It took you long enough to realize that." he whispered in my ear, and my eyes widened. "I love you too, Squirt." I blushed at his use of my old nickname from him. We stood there for a moment, just hugging each other. Then Sebastian ruined the mood.
"How touching." he said, seemingly melting out of the shadows. "The relationship between a butler and his master is great, but not usually so great as this. Might I remind you, my lady, but you have a date tonight with the son of an earl in the west. I suggest you not ruin your chances with him over a silly love. It will crush you." Sebastian smirked and looked at us evilly. In that moment, I really hated that damn butler.
"Sebastian I don't want an arranged marriage. I want to be with Edmund. Arranged marriages ruin people's lives." I complained, but Sebastian just shook his head.
"Sorry, my lady, but you haven't a choice. It is my master's wish that you find someone of high status to be with. A mere servant won't do." Sebastian smirked at Edmund. I balled my hands into fists and looked up at Sebastian with hatred in my eyes. He seemed faintly surprised.
"Ciel's probably just jealous because I have a chance with Edmund! He probably wants me to be as miserable as him because he can't have you!" I yelled. Sebastian's eyes flew open and he took a step back. It seems as though I'd hit a nerve. "Don't act so surprised! This whole mansion knows about your secret relationship! Thin walls; loud moans, Sebastian!" I spat at him and he turned away.
"I haven't a clue what you speak of. Be ready for the ball by five, my lady. Edmund can help you with the corset. The dress is waiting in your room." Sebastian said before walking out calmly. I screamed my hatred toward that butler and turned to Edmund.
"I'm sorry, Eddy." I said, biting my lip and avoiding eye contact. "I'll find a way out of this. I promise. By the end of the week, we'll be free. We'll be free to stay together." I hugged him one last time before turning away and strolling out the door.