fox on the run | miya osamu

the color grey

SHINSUKE. It's such a beautiful name, Suiren thought. She wanted to call him that at least once and now, feeling like on the verge of dying, she finally got to say it. She's not exactly dying, it's far from it actually, but Suiren swore it felt like it.

Not long after, her vision begins to get muddy. The hospital lights, a glimpse of his face, the plain ceilings--- they're all a blur.

The agonizing pain on her foot crawling up to her knees stops as the painkillers begin to work. She also starts to doze off and everything that appeared as a big messy blur, is all gone in her eyes.

They arrive at the vacant emergency room to get her wounds treated. Shinsuke gazes at the sleeping Suiren whose tan body is tainted by wounds and scrapes from her fall.

"Are you her relative? Her boyfriend?" a nurse asks while writing something down.

"I'm a friend," he answers, "Is she going to be alright?"

"Tsutsui-chan often goes here because of the pain in her foot so we'll need the doctor to really find out," she answers him. Her use of the informal honorific gives him a hint that Suiren knew a few nurses in the hospital, a sign proving her frequent visits.

"So it wasn't a check-up, was it? I sensed something off with it," Shinsuke says to Suiren. After a while, with her wounds treated, the nurses leave the room, perhaps to inform her doctor about her condition too.

"You should try not to keep it all to yourself, Tsutsui," he adds as he takes a seat next to her bed.

"I'm here too. I'm here for you," he sighs.

"SUIREN? CHUUNCHUN?" And finally, Osamu arrives, sliding the door as quickly as he can to go see her. Shinsuke turns around, confirming who it was.

"She's sleeping," Shinsuke says, then he stands up from his seat.

The younger hurries to get to her bed and he sees her peacefully resting. He sighs in relief to see her move as she breathe, he thought of the worst case scenario already. She looks beautiful even as she slept, Osamu thought, but the sight of the bandages on her face and shoulders pained him.

"They said she often went to the hospital because of her foot. They contacted her family already," Shinsuke informs him.

"I see," Osamu murmurs. He couldn't keep to himself the question lingering in his mind. He turns around to face him and he questions Shinsuke, "Kita-san? Why are you here?"

"I went to the qualifiers to support Tsutsui," he answers, appearing unfazed with the suspecting inquiry.

"And why weren't you there?" Shinsuke asks, but Osamu simply leaves him hanging for an answer. He didn't want to say he didn't know about today nor did his pride as her boyfriend allowed him to admit they "fought."

"Well, am here now, Kita-san," Osamu says instead.

"That's good. The one Tsutsui needs the most right now is you," Shinsuke adds.

"Huh?"

"She's been crying on the way here. She cried out your name."

"Oh."

"I had to correct her that it was me. The hair must've confused her," he sighs.

Silence takes over as Osamu tries to grasp it in his mind. After a sleepless night of overthinking, it's all crystal clear to him. And now, here comes the guilt. Guilt he wasn't able to support her, guilt he wasn't even there and most importantly, guilt that it just had to be Kita Shinsuke. Kita Shinsuke, the man he had always thought to be her ideal.

"I'll be taking my leave now, okay? See you tomorrow. Don't be late for practice," Shinsuke tells him, organizing his belongings.

"Y-Yeah," the younger stammers.

"See you."

"Kita-san, wait," Osamu says.

"Yes?" he asks, already in front of the door.

"Thank you."

"Take care of her, Osamu."

The room goes completely silent after Shinsuke leaves. Only the sound of the AC and the occassional noises from the hallways could be heard from where he sat.

"Wake up, Chuunchun. Ya seriously worried me," he tells her.

"I even made bento but I forgot about it when I heard about what happened to ya. I panicked," he adds.

"Oh- Osamu?" He hears her soft weakened voice.

"Chuunchun," he calls her back.

"Osamu, you're here?" she mumbles as soon as she tilts her head to see him.

He's a little taken aback and speechless. He hopes she didn't hear what he said earlier.

"Oh my god, you're here," she gasps. The words she rehearsed last night replayed on her head. Without giving it much thought, almost completely forgetting her own situation, she pushes herself to finally say those words.

"I'm sorry about yesterday but I really love you, Osamu."