Burdens [Furry BxB]

Chapter 34 - Planning

He was wet and he was tired. His shower had not taken much time out of his day, but he did a poor job at drying himself. Every so often a drop of water would fall from his fur, but it faded away with time.

Roger yawned. His mind was blank for the time being. He felt that even if he wanted to, he could not focus on anything, having focused on so much already. He felt lost amidst the void, but at least it dulled the pain.

He sat in his bed, staring upward at the ceiling. He still felt damp and was sure it would make his bed a little wet, but he did not care. He was too sore and tired to feel that it mattered.

He began to get drowsy. He slept so much that he felt exhausted. He closed his eyes and it was all black. No images seemed to be coming to him. His imagination felt as if it had depleted itself by thinking about the wolf.

He let the sleep come. He figured a nap would at least refresh him.

-

The sun was setting by the time he woke. It was a few hours, much longer than he had intended. He knew he was completely dismantling his circadian rhythm.

At least he could think again. He had no immediate thoughts of the wolf but instead thought of his friends at school. He had only seen them for such a short time, and he felt slightly nostalgic. But really, what had they done in the past? He could hardly think of much time they spent together, but for some odd reason, he wanted to spend some time with them.

Or perhaps that vixen. He needed to acquire her name. Something about her intrigued him at the current moment. Perhaps it was just that he sought companionship. Maybe he sought an escape from the wolf's hold on him. He did not really care, he just knew that he felt lonely.

He decided to prepare for the next day. He removed all of his dirty laundries from his bag and set it aside, and then put in his bag the things he needed for school. It was really just a few of the books and a notebook of which he kept his homework.

He headed down to the kitchen and grabbed a few things. He made dinner for himself, unsure of whether or not his parents would be back in time for him to eat and get to sleep at an adequate time. It was mostly just a sandwich, something simple since he felt he had eaten too much over the weekend.

It seemed quiet in the house. Even the air was stagnant, and he could swear he could almost hear his own heartbeat.

He ate the sandwich in the silence. He had nothing left to do for the day aside from wait for the next one. He regretted not accepting the offer to stay at the wolf's house. At least then he could have just hung out with the wolf and his family, but he knew just being there would have been torture for him, the way his body had been acting.

He went back up to his room after having finished eating. He sat in his bed and pondered things for a little.

He wondered how the next day would be. Would that be the day he asked the vixen her name? He concluded that it was. The sooner he found it out, the sooner his curiosity would be sated. Maybe then he could put a stronger attachment to her and then worry less about Hunter. While the wolf was a nice individual, and definitely very attractive to the fox for reasons he could not quite pinpoint, he did not want to succumb to the thoughts he forbade.

He had already done much more than he could not hope to repent for, but he tried to forget it for the moment. It was no use plaguing himself when his time could better have been used to find a solution to his problem. He figured he would at least ask his friends, first, to see if they knew her name or a way that he could introduce himself to her.

If all else failed, perhaps he could ask Hunter to help. Chances were that she did not know of the wolf, and in due part to his physical appearance, he would at least help break the ice. Then again, the plan might backfire and she would fall for the wolf instead of him.

He wondered about it a bit more. If that were the case, maybe he could transform the failure into a victory. He had to define his goal. What was it? He thought about it some more.

If his goal was merely to rid himself of his attraction to the wolf, he would succeed this way. If she accepted Roger, and they became friends and potentially more, then that was the ideal solution. If she, instead, went for Hunter, then at least he could harbour negative feelings toward the wolf and reduce his attraction in that manner. Jealousy and envy were great influential tools, he decided.

He knew it was a juvenile plan. He knew it had a high chance of failure, but he would try. Just because he became friendly with the other fox did not mean his feelings would fade. Just because she was with the wolf did not mean he would be mad. He just assumed.

He sighed and laid back down. There was no real reason to stay awake anymore, but he could not really sleep. He stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to catch up with him, but so far it was lagging behind. He continued to formulate plans in his mind, trying them out in his imagination, hoping one would come out victoriously. Nothing seemed to work.

The more he thought about it, the broader his plans became. He found a few that he thought would work, but he was still unsure. Everything seemed to make sense to him, but nothing ever made sense with the wolf.

He yawned. Finally, he was starting to feel a bit tired. He figured he would try to implement something, anything, tomorrow.

In the meantime, he would just enjoy his friendship.