Helpless | A Modern Hamliza Story

Chapter Two

Another month passed by, still no baby.

Eliza thought about just not taking any more tests unless she was having sure symptoms of being pregnant, but it was like an addiction.

One test after another built up in her nightstand, and she even considered getting a new box to store all of them. The addiction was stronger than taking tests the expected week of her period. She kept every negative test since the first one, unable to get rid of them no matter how hard she tried or Alexander urged her to.

One morning three months after her blog post, Eliza woke up with nausea taking over her body. She made her way to the bathroom quickly, spilling the contents of her guts into the toilet. She sat back crying after she finished, feeling absolutely terrible. She had never felt this sick in her life.

Alexander could hear her crying in the bathroom, waking him up at an ungodly hour of the morning. He got up, wiping the sleep out of his eyes and headed to the bathroom attached to their room.

He found her laying on the floor, clothes half off as she tried to cool herself down on the floor. Tears were staining her cheeks and she was shaking from the emotions of feeling sick and throwing up.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked lovingly, picking up the clothes on the floor and sitting on the ground next to her face. "How can I help you?"

Eliza sniffled, reaching her hand around so she could pull her head onto his lap. "I feel so sick. I hate being sick! I'm so nauseous and my stomach hurts," she whined. "I'm so hot right now I feel like I'm melting."

He ran his fingers through her hair, which was all sweaty from being overheated. "Do you want me to get you some water?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. Hold me."

So he did what she asked, though uncomfortable on the hard bathroom floor. He took the ponytail holder off of his wrist, pulling Eliza's hair up into a floppy messy bun to get the hair off of her neck.

Eventually, she fell asleep on the floor, content with the cold floor on her sweaty body.

Looking down at his red faced, sweat drenched wife, Alexander couldn't help but wonder if she was pregnant. All of the symptoms were leading to morning sickness and early pregnancy. Fatigue, nausea, vomiting—the symptoms were right in front of their faces!

But still he wondered if he should even bring it up to her. There had been so much heartbreak over negative test after negative test, whether she was experiencing symptoms or not.

There was one time over a year ago where Eliza and Alexander were so sure that she was pregnant—so sure that Eliza got excited and bought a new blanket for their first baby. She was already looking up ways to tell her husband she was finally pregnant while waiting for her timer to go off and finally get the excitement and relief of her first big fat positive. When the timer had finally gone off, her hands excitedly holding onto the test and ready to cry tears of joy, she turned the test over only to see another negative. It was as if her perfect fantasy was being invaded as reality set in.

Alexander didn't want to upset her in this way again. He remembered the way she showed him the sweet receiving blanket with little lions over them, explaining how she was so sure she was pregnant and that she couldn't help herself.

He decided on letting her decide whether she thought she was pregnant or not. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that she might be and then have another negative. He couldn't do that to her. Instead, he settled on waiting it out.

After a few minutes, Alexander picked up his wife, carrying her bridal style back to their bed. Seeing as she was still sweating, he nixed the comforter, lying her down on top of the mountain of blankets.