Helpless | A Modern Hamliza Story

Chapter Twenty-Two

A Perfect Addition

February 3, 2022

My dear readers, I now have the most perfect little son. We waited and waited years for our baby, and I didn't think I would get to hold a baby that was the most beautiful combination of my husband and I.

Yet, here I am holding my twelve day old son on my chest as I write this little update, which admittedly is taking longer than usual as I take time to look down at him and watch him breathe, or take time away to feed him when he looks up at me with his sweet lips pursed and hands reaching for my breasts.

I never knew what a wonderful feeling it could be to hold your baby against your skin or watch their every little move. I just can't stop myself from constantly telling my husband just how perfect our son is, to which he always replies, "Of course he's perfect; he's half you." But what I really think makes him so incredibly perfect is that he is most beautifully mixed between both of us.

I always laugh at him and shake my head when he says it, because our son looks just like him with only his only feature from me being his nose. If you're going just off what our son looks like, he's absolutely perfect because he almost looks like a carbon copy of my wonderful husband.

I never knew that I would be so grateful for the years spent waiting to get pregnant, and even the months I needed to spend on birth control while on chemotherapy. All the times that I spent crying over constant negative tests were worth it to have him here now in this exact moment. I can't even imagine that if I had gotten my way two years ago when I first started chemotherapy, and if I had gotten the positive that I was begging for, that I probably wouldn't have my son today. It wouldn't be him. I didn't know that someone so tiny could bring me the amount of joy I feel.

My little boy is a stubborn one already, and I think both my husband and I both knew that before he was born. Our son decided that he was just like a wizard—never early, never 'late', just arriving precisely when he planned to arrive.

His plan for arrival and his perfect moment to shine was almost two weeks passed his due date, and even though I was annoyed in the moment that he wouldn't just come as close as possible to his due date, he was still worth that wait. My stubborn son waited well passed when he was ready to be here, and he is already a happy, feisty little thing. We like to call him our little lion, strong and brave, but still as sweet as can be.

Admittedly, I'm nervous to return to my job at the school. I just don't want to leave my baby with someone else all day, and I could cuddle him forever. I still have weeks before I return, so I am going to make the most out of them.

Of course I love my job and I can't wait to see those children again, but it will really suck to be away from my own child all day. It was a difficult decision to make, whether I was going to continue to work at the school or stay home. I myself chose to return to my students.

My husband feels the same way about returning his job. He was lucky enough to get eight weeks off, and he's been absolutely enamored with taking care of our son since the day he arrived. He barely lets me get up at night when the baby cries, and he only wakes me when our little lion needs to be fed. He is the best papa to our son.

I haven't seen him so in love since we started dating almost twelve years ago. It has been the sweetest thing to watch the two of them together. As much as I like to think that our son is a mama's boy, he's through and through a daddy's boy. Either way, he's been the most perfect addition to our family.

Philip cooed as he felt his mother's position change, his beautiful brown eyes opening to look at Eliza.

"Well, hello, my little lion," she said in a baby voice, closing her laptop and moving it off to the side. She gave him a big smile, which caused his lips to curve up as well as he squished his body closer to hers, reaching toward her breast. "You must be getting hungry, hmm? You're my growing little lion; of course you're getting hungry!"