Helpless | A Modern Hamliza Story

Chapter Twenty-Six

A few days later, Eliza's condition was worsening. She was even yellower from the jaundice caused by the tumor taking over liver function as well, and her breathing was labored even with the oxygen being delivered to her.

Her home care nurse came in that afternoon, checking on her vitals and watching how she was doing that day. She had known the second that she walked into the room as she did her initial survey that there wasn't much time left. Eliza's vitals and lethargy proved it.

The nurse looked at Alexander, who staring at her with a lump in his throat. It was as if they could speak with their eyes. They carried on a conversation with their eyes that told him that it could be any day now.

He already knew.

Eliza was tiny now from her loss of appetite; she was constantly tired, and her presence seemed to withdraw more each day. There wasn't really a day where she wasn't in pain, or in which her breathing would worsen. 

The nurse led Alexander out of the room to talk more about it behind doors.

"I would start calling up family to say their goodbyes. It will be any day now really," she explained. "I would even have them come by tonight if they're in the area. I will be on call if Eliza needs anything or if her condition worsens. Please don't hesitate to call. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Alexander nodded, his heart sinking. All he wanted was some miracle so that she would be healthy again. He was hoping that he'd wake up from this nightmare and she would be smiling at him as they took Philip to the park or they ran around Paris together again like they were teenagers. He knew it wasn't going to happen, but he didn't want her to die. He needed her to stay alive.

"I will. Thank you."

Alexander called each family member as soon as the nurse left. Her parents would be there that afternoon, and her sisters and their husbands would be there that night.

When her sisters arrived, they both could feel the looming shadow of death waiting over the room. It felt cold and dark, even though Eliza had asked for extra lighting in the room and soft music playing.

That was the one things Eliza asked for, besides being home for hospice. She wanted the room to be bright, and for happy music leading her out of this world. 

Peggy burst into tears seeing Eliza in such a state, barely aware, barely living; frail and thin, pale and yellow. She was the more emotional one of her and Angelica, especially now as she was pregnant.

Angelica could feel tears stinging in her eyes, but she didn't want to show everyone. She and her husband couldn't bear to bring the children with them to say goodbye to their aunt. She supposed she would be crying more if she had to watch the two of them, in all of their young and innocent confusion.

"I love you so much, Eliza," Angelica said as she made her way to the bed, holding onto her hand. Even if she was pushing back the tears, emotion was written in her tone of voice and her eyes were glossed over.

"I love you, too."

"We're going to talk about you all of the time with Stephen and Catharine, and always remind them of you," Angelica promised as her voice began to quiver.

"Tell them that I love them," Eliza asked monotonously. She couldn't cry anymore if she tried. She just wanted to be out of pain.

After exchanging a few last words, Angelica's soft voice whispering small talk and words of love, Peggy took her spot.

Peggy was not doing a very good job at hiding her emotions, which for her was normal. Alexander would be concerned if she was pushing away her feelings. He knew Angelica would internalize her feelings when she was emotional, and that was what worked for her. But Peggy, she always externalized her feelings.