Because You Make Me Smile - Matthew Espinosa

Chapter 16

Lina's POV

"Fuck you, were done!" I said before walking away and socking him the face.

'Don't cry, don't cry.' Your stronger than that. Don't show him you're weak. Don't show him at your worst.

I pushed the doors open at the front of the school. I ran out towards my house. Tears rocketed down my face. My heart and stomach felt like they were carrying hundred pound weights.

I burst through the door and trudged up to my room.

'Fuck you' ran through my mind, every I love you, every kiss, every hug, every smile.

That's it. were done. I can't hug him for comfort, I can't kiss him. I can't say I love you and be reassured he'll say it back. We're over, because he doesn't love me back.

He ran after Rachel. He begged for her forgiveness, not mine.

Tears slowly fell from my eyes, the storm inside my head, compared nothing to the one in my heart.

I love you. I love you so much it hurts. It hurts knowing you're not mine anymore. You are my only love. The one I'll always love. It's you. I wish I could tell him that, I wish the words could leave my mouth and head to his ears, but it's not my obligation anymore.

I watched the fan go around and around for hours and hours. Leaving me and my thoughts alone.

Tomorrow is the last day of school anyway, and I'm not going to show up. I don't want to see him. I don't want to see his gorgeous smile, or perfect lips because it's him who broke me. The one who fixed me, broke me.

Hour after hour I layed on my bed crying minute after minute. It wasn't the 'silent hurt cry', it was a deep, aganozing cry. The cry where you can't decide whether to place your hand on your heart or stomach because they both hurt.

I think what's hurts the most is when you give your all to someone. You're there for them through thick and thin, and they just give up on you. They don't even fight for you. The one thing you could not have done, they did with no hesitation.

••••••

I awoke groggy and sad, with a sink in my chest.

It was about noon and it was raining. Raining hard. The raindrops hit the ceiling with a 'thud' when landing. Thunder shook my room.

"Perfect weather for a breakup," I thought to myself.

I wet my face, getting rid of dried tears and smudged makeup.

I went downstairs grabbing chips soda and ice cream. I rolled in my bed eating everything. I'll just eat my problems, forget being a model.

I grabbed my phone to see messages, missed calls, various social media notifications.

I looked at my texts.

'I'll be there in ten, I love shoo baby'

Was my last text from -him. The text he sent me when he was picking me up from the carnival. Lie. He doesn't love me.

'Ring Ring!'

"Hello?" I quietly said, I hadn't spoken since yesterday.

"Hey it's Amber where are you?"

"At my house."

"Why aren't you at school?"

"Is that even a question?"

"He um he, he's back to his normal ways."

"What?"

"He's back to being a player, he's making out with Clarissa right now and before that he was with Glen ."