Pain Without Love (Complete)

6- Burning My Memories

Opening his eyes, Shawn groaned loudly as his muscles screamed in protest. At 6 foot 2 he was not designed to be folded up so as to fit on to his brown leather sofa but when he had arrived home at 4am that morning the first thing he wanted to do was sleep and the last thing he wanted to do was step foot in to the bedroom they had contaminated.

Jumbled images of the day before stuttered back and forth through his mind but he found himself too tired and too sore to deal with them so he shoved them down, buried them deep and then finally stepped away from his uncomfortable resting place.

He was still wearing the clothes he had left the house in the night before. Black jeans, black t shirt and charcoal leather jacket and he felt his stomach begin to turn as he recognized the smells of the night before radiating from him and polluting his living space.

Tequila, perspiration, cologne...her

Strolling into his bathroom he dropped his jacket to the floor before ripping off his t-shirt and observing himself in the mirror.

"Shit"

Shawn couldn't help but smile at the array of erotic wounds that peppered his neck and shoulders.

Red, crescent shaped marks where her nails had dug in to his skin, red and purple marks where she had bitten, sucked and teased him were all visable and if anyone had seen him right now they would have been left in little doubt as to his actions the night before only he hadn't, they hadn't and yet it had been without doubt the best one night stand of his life.

The memories of what the beautiful stranger had managed to do to his body were almost too much to comprehend.

No kissing, no intimate touching of any kind, no sex, no penetration, no orgasm, just the most sensual, erotic, all consuming experience of his life and as he felt his body begin to stir at the memories he decided it was time for him to give in to them.

He turned on the shower, rid himself of his remaining clothes and then stepped under the flow of water and surrendered his mind and body to the images of the night before, the feel of the cool satin, the sounds, the smells, the feel of her skin on his. Finding his rhythm he allowed his own touch to take him to and then beyond the edge of the cliff he had become so well aquinted with the night before.

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Staring down at his bonfire of sheets, Duvets, pillows, photos and sentimental nik-naks Shawn felt his chest begin to tighten as his eyes began to sting.

He tried to focus on Milas words from last night, how his relationship had been nothing more than a waste of his time, how his girlfriend hadn't cared enough about him to make sure that he had been fulfilled the way he had always tried to ensure she was but he knew those words weren't meant as the truth, they were meant as provocation and it had worked then but now standing before his burning memories he was staring the truth right in the face.

It was over... That hurt

He had lost not only his girlfriend but his best friend and that hurt like a motherfucker

His desire for Mila to blow gently over his emotional wounds and then press a kiss to them and soothe them the way she had to his physical wounds last night was growing stronger and he was struggling not to reach for his phone and beg her to let him come over but his hands remained clenched tightly in his pockets.

He had to deal with this, with them, Mila couldn't help him to do that but maybe, just maybe when it was all over she could help to heal him once more.

The sound of someone clearing their throat behind him brought Shawn back to the here and now and as he spun around to see who his company was the sight left him reeling.