Corrupted

Chapter 18

All the memories of how we got there are blurred. I just remember sitting in Brenn's arms and feeling his touch under the brightest moon I have ever seen. We laid on our backs, our bodies locked and our fingers intwined. It was nothing I had experienced before. This meadow field will forever be special to me. Burned in my heart and engraved in my mind, just like Brenn.

How does the time fly by so fast when you're with the one you love? Before either of us noticed the sun had already risen and it was time for Brenn's departure. I tried comforting myself saying he'll only be gone for a week. How hard could that be? I was just fine before he came along; I can still be after he leaves, I thought sorrowfully trying to brace myself for the unknown.

With our last kiss, he bid me goodbye leaving my body aching for his touch, my heart aching from the separation and my mind racing with false interrogations.

By the time I got home, Brenn wasn't the only one I was thinking about. In my head roamed one thousand and one ideas. I was thinking about my sister, about my mother. I was thinking about my father who was unblamefully out of his mind. How was I okay when everyone and everything around me wasn't? Deep within I new the reason why; however, I still felt like a traitor. A traitor for being okay. For starting to remember happiness.

Once I was in front of the house, I stood corrected. That week was going to be hellish, but not because of Brenn.

There, my father stood gazing out into nowhere exactly, staring blankly at me. I couldn't decifer his face.

"You little whore," was all I heard before my head bashed on the ground. My vision blurred, and I could hear a distant voice calling out my name; however, my mind did not register, and I blacked out.

I'm still not sure how long it took me before I regained consciousness. All I know is that I woke up in my bed with a lound pounding in my head. 

Without that nasty scar on my cheek, I would have been sure that all that happened was a very lucid dream, but the concerned look on Kroos' face as he barged into my room proved otherwise. This was very real.

His voice came out soft, "How are you feeling?"

It took me a while to process his question, but I finally untangled the knot my tongue was in and whispered, "My head hurts, the scratch on my hand is burning me, and I have no clue of what happened."

He coked his head as if to gauge my reaction.

"Your father was drunk and mad. When he found out you were with Brenn, he lost it. I didn't expect him to do something so irrational. Believe me. I would have protected you, but he was heavily under the influence of alcohol and, and.." I cut him off right there. I knew where he was heading with his statement.

He blamed himself for what happened, but not any of it was his fault. Not even my father's fault. I knew by now he would be regretting what he had done and was trying to drown every awake cell in his system to spread the trail of wildfire, guilt drew.

"Stop. It's not your fault. It's not dad's either. There's one person responsible for all of this and it's me."

Kroos opened his mouth to interject, but I left my room in a hurry and in a daze heading towards nowhere in particular.

I scanned the house which was terrorisingly silent and empty. For a second, I thought about confronting my father but later decided that he needs time to cool down, so I backed off, and ran towards the only place that could make me forget about this. The only place where I have built and shared the happiest memories in the darkest era of my life.

Even though the meadow field was still disfigured from the war, orange and yellow fit in perfectly and molded beautifully with the bright purple shadow that the lavender petals cast.