Red String [h.s] (Completed)

Chapter 59

"And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me"

Before they leave to go for their little walking adventure, Harry has a quick shower and then borrows one of Amy's oversized white t-shirts so he doesn't have to wear last night's shirt. Harry unbuttons his shirt in front of Amy and she averts her eyes and makes herself busy, trying not to glance back at him, although the temptation to stare at him is always there.

The weather is cooler than it was last weekend. Amy wears a patterned maxi skirt with a black knit sweater. She dons black Vans on her feet since they'll be walking a lot. Amy decides against bringing her camera. She is not quite ready for it yet. Harry admires Amy's silhouette in the skirt. He likes that the chance of seeing her legs is akin to an all day temptation.

They leave Amy's apartment and begin walking. Amy has a route in mind and Harry is happy to follow her lead. She says "Bonjour" politely to the people in her neighborhood as she passes them. They have become familiar faces in the last few months. A few she has longer conversations with before continuing on.

Harry admires her as she does this. Sees the ease in which she has adjusted to this new life in this different city and he feels a pang of jealousy. He's not even sure what he's jealous of. Maybe it's the fact that Amy seems to have it all together. That despite losing each other she seems to be thriving here in Paris. While he was struggling to get through each day, she has been living a full life here. It's almost painful for him to watch. He wants to be happy for her but part of him wants her to be a bit miserable without him.

If Harry had seen Amy during those two months apart, he would not be thinking any of this. Amy struggled every day and she still struggles now to live a life without being half of a whole. Because, like they've both thought and said before, they don't feel whole unless they're together. Like a part of them will always be missing when they're apart. And it's not so much a dependent relationship, because both of them are capable of existing on their own, it's more like they bring out the very best in each other. And when you're at your best, you feel your best. And who doesn't want to feel their best.