Red String [h.s] (Completed)

Chapter 11

"Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say you always say more
I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe"

It took until Amy's phone started ringing to get her attention back to reality after talking to Harry. She panicked at first, thinking it was him, and then was relieved that it was her sister who was outside waiting to be let in. She buzzed her sister in and then opened the door of the apartment so she could walk in. She didn't realize she had fallen into another daze until her sister started calling her name.

"Oh, sorry," she said looking up at her. She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asks.

"Uh, yeah. Fine," she says unconvincingly.

"Amy! You are the worst liar!"

Amy turns quickly and looks at her sister.

"What did you say?"

"I said you're a terrible liar. Your face...it's like you find the lie distasteful or something. You've always been that way."

Amy stares at her sister thinking about Harry's words. She wonders how had she been able to fool Derek so easily if it was obvious to both Sarah and Harry when she was lying.

"Wow! You are more out of it than I've seen you in awhile. Are you and Derek okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

Sarah lifts her eyebrows at her, as if to ask "really"?

"We're just going through something and it's put extra pressure on us."

"Ames, you can tell me. We always tell each other everything."

"Okay, but you can't tell mom and dad. I don't want them to get involved."

"I won't."

Amy takes a deep breath before she starts.

"Derek and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months."

"Really?! That's exciting!" she says joyously.

"Yeah," Amy says, not joyous at all. Sarah stares at her for a minute, assessing her.

"Are you sad because you haven't got pregnant or sad because you are glad you're not pregnant?"

Amy looks up at her sister incredulously, mouth open.

"How did you know?"

"I'm your sister. I've never heard you talk about having kids. Like ever. I thought after you decided you didn't want to get married that having kids was definitely off the table."

"Then why did you say "that's exciting"?"

"Amy, if I thought that was what you really wanted then of course I'd be happy for you! I love you!"

"You don't think it's what I really want?"

"Is it what you really want?"

Amy thought about that question. She's been thinking about for the past six months. She thinks someday she'd might like to have a baby but she still wants to travel, pursue her art more, and discover who she is before she has a child.

"Derek wants it so badly. I feel like I'm disappointing him. I'm already disappointing him by not marrying him."

"Do you want to know what I think? And feel free to say no."