Red String [h.s] (Completed)

Chapter 24

"Find someone that loves you
Better than I do, darling, I know
'Cause you remind me every day
I'm not enough, but I still stay"

Amy comes out of her room and hears the shower running and assumes it's Harry. She wants to get this over with quickly. She tells her sister where she is going (Sarah rolls her eyes at the idea) and walks outside to the bunkhouse. She knocks on the door.

Derek answers with a big smile and invites her in. Amy steps inside and Derek gestures for her to sit on the bed next to him but Amy politely declines, not wanting to send him any mixed signals.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Amy, I think we made a mistake. I think we acted too quickly. I should have listened to you when you said you needed a break. I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting on you. I'm sorry."

Amy nods at him, not sure what to say. She realizes Derek is saying the things she has been wanting him to say for months but for some reason she can't seem to care. She thinks back to all the times she changed a little bit of herself to make him happy, to make him more comfortable or his family more accepting. Amy never truly felt like she could be herself. She hated it. With Harry, she feels more like herself than she has in years. He allows her to be exactly who she is and embraces her for it.

"Amy, I want to get back together. We can take a break from trying to get pregnant and then when you're ready we'll get some tests done on you. Figure out what's wrong, why you can't get pregnant."

"What?!"

Amy is seething. She doesn't understand how he could say that. Doesn't understand how he could blame it all on her.

"Don't you want to know what's wrong? If we found that out, then they could fix it."

Amy hears Harry's words in her ear from that night in the hotel room:

And Amy, even if you can never get pregnant, there's nothing wrong with you. There couldn't possibly be. You're perfect.

Amy glares at Derek and then reaches for the door, opens it and slams it behind her. She marches back towards the main house.

Harry has just come out of the bathroom after showering and hears a door slam. He looks over at Sarah in the kitchen and they both turn their heads to outside where the noise came from. They rush out, both stopping suddenly under the overhang of the porch when they see Derek and Amy in a heated exchange.

Derek has flown out of the bunkhouse after Amy, shouting at her to stop. Amy does and whirls around angrily facing him. He stops in his tracks when he is met with the furious look in her eyes.

"I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with me! I went to a doctor. I got checked. Everything is fine!" she turns to go again.

Derek shouts, "Then why couldn't you get pregnant?!"

Amy whirls around for a second time, "I DID!" screaming it at him.

Sarah gasps and covers her mouth. Harry's eyes go wide. They both try to stay close to the house, knowing now that they are invading a very private conversation.

"Amy, what are you talking about?"

Amy sighs, looking down at her feet. All the anger she was just feeling having completely evaporated. She takes a deep breath and continues while still looking down.

"We lost it. I had a miscarriage earlier this month," Amy looks up cautiously at the end.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me?" Derek says and he doesn't sound sad, he sounds angry.