My Rockstar

No more lying

** 2 months later: The past two months were pretty great. I get along with the boys like they're my brothers. We all are so so so close and now I'm considered one of the boys. Jaden and I kiss in private a little bit here and there but nothing more. Mads is still the only person who knows about Jaden and me. I told Jaden she knows and he didn't care because apparently he was telling her everything too haha. Anyways, right now, I am about to get woken up. (oh also this chapter has mature themes <3) **

"DOG PILE!" I hear Griffin say with a bunch of footsteps following it. I quickly get up so they all pile on each other. I laugh at them as they all groan in pain. "Wheres Jaden?" I say looking at the pile of 5 boys. They shrug. "Okay, we five are going out with some girls if you want to come," Bryce says standing up. "To the third wheel with like... 10 people? I'm good" I shake my head, fixing my bed. "Your lost," They say leaving. "Hi" I look at my door to see Jaden leaning against it, smiling. "Hi" I smile back. He walks into the room and closes the door. He comes up to me and hugs me. "Good morning" He smiles. "Good morning, Jaden." I smile back. He lifts my chin up and kisses me. He lowers us onto the bed. He takes his shirt off and his necklace is dangling above me and I get a bunch of butterflies. "Yeah, I think I dropped my keys in her room" I hear Bryce say walking up the stairs. I push Jaden off of me and turn facing the other way and quickly go on my phone. "Weren't you wearing a shirt?" Jaden shakes his head no. He starts looking for his keys and Josh comes upstairs to help find the keys so they can leave faster but Bryce finds them before Josh walks in. Josh looks at me and Jaden with his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. I shake my head no and then he pouts. I smile at him as Bryce closes the door. I exhale when I throw my head on the pillow. Jaden smiles and goes over me again and kisses my neck. "Jaden, you can't" He pulls away and looks at me. "Let me put them somewhere people won't see them." I sigh and take off my shirt. He starts kissing on my chest. Before he leaves a dark hickey, someone knocks on the door. Jaden groans quietly and I laugh. "Yeah?" I ask. "Can I come in?" "Is it just you, Mads?" "Go in the closet" I throw Jaden his shirt as I whisper to him. "Yeah?" I get up and open the door a little bit. "I was getting changed." She nods, "Okay, well, I wanted to hang out." She went to open the door to come in but I stop her. She looks at me confused. "I, uh, don't want anyone to see me." She nods, "Okay well everyone's gone. It's just me, you, and Jaden here. Speaking of, have you seen Jaden today?" I nod "Yeah, Uhm, I've seen him earlier" She pushes open the door. "And I assume you've seen him a few minutes ago." I look at her, confused. "Well, from experience, Jaden doesn't give them light. They're always dark. So I think I interrupted something." I look down at my hickey and smile. She opens the closet and Jadens holding shoes. "Uh, I found those shoes you asked if I've seen earlier. I decided to put them back." I laugh, "she's not dumb Jaden" He laughs and puts the shoes down. "I'll leave then... I'll go out of the house if you guys want to be noisy." I look away from her "Gross." she laughs, "If they come home and try to go up here, I'll stop them and text you so you can stop doing... everything." She smiles and leaves. "Well now I'm not in the mood." I lock the door, "Well it should be easy for me to help you get in the mood, Jaden. I'm just good like that." I walk up to him and he laughs. "Oh, are you really?" I smile and wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps him around my waist. "Mhm," I mumble right before kissing him. He kisses me back. Jaden lays me back on the bed gently and kisses down my neck back to my chest. 

I've never done it before. Everytime I am close, I back out. I don't know why. I've gotten close with Jaden only once. I know I want to lose it to him. I know it. He kisses down my stomach while sliding his hand down the side of my body. I smile and start breathing heavily because I am nervous. He kisses just under my belly button and looks up at me. I nod. "Are you sure?" I nod again. "Okay. I'll be gentle. I promise" I look up at the ceiling and place my hand on my chest, feeling myself breath heavy, trying to calm myself. Jaden is over me again looking at my chest. "You aren't ready." I look at his necklace dangling above me, trying not to look at him. "I am." He shakes his head, "Y/n/n, it's okay if you aren't. I don't care if we get close 100 times before we actually do it. If you aren't ready, that's okay. Just tell me that. I will wait. Just no more lying about when you're ready and when you aren't. I don't want to pressure you or do anything you don't want to do. Okay? No more lying." I smile and nod. I look at his eyes. "I know, I just feel bad." He shakes his head, "Don't. Seriously." I smile and take a deep breath. I get a text and I look at my phone. "Who is it?" I look at Jaden. "Mads. They just got home." He nods, "Want to go downstairs?" I shrug, "Sure." I sit up and put my shirt back on and he does the same. I unlock the door. "Your hands are shaking... are you okay?" I look at Jaden and nod. "I just feel, I don't know, embarrassed? I guess?" He smiles and pulls me into a hug. "Don't be embarrassed, seriously. You not wanting to have sex is okay. Your consent is all that matters. I don't care at all." He kisses the top of my head. He pulls away but still having his hands around my waist. He takes his hands and cups my face and pecks my lips. "Thank you for understanding." I smile. He smiles back. Ugh his smile just melts me. "Of course." 

As we walk downstairs I smell food. "Ooo, what did you bring us?" I say. "McDonalds" Quinton replies but whe he says it I get dragged outside. "Did you guys?" Mads asks as we sit on the steps. "No." She nods. "Oh, okay. Are you guys not ready or did you guys just not do anything after I left." I look at her. "I don't know. I mean, I think I am ready but we get so close and I just bail." She nods. "You'll know when you're ready. Right now you aren't. But thats okay. My first time was with Jaden. I pushed it backa bunch of times. He really doesnt care if you do. He just wants you to be ready. But whe it happens, he is so gentle." I smile. "He also asks if your okay or if he should stop every five seconds" She laughs. "It's annoying but sweet." I smile "Holy shit." I turn to see Josh standing behind us.