My Rockstar

A pause

it's been a few months since the whole jail thing and Jaden and I have been fighting a lot over the littlest things. At the end of the day, we lay down and we always will love each other but I don't know what It is. It's giving me so much stress. 

"Don't bring everything, it isn't a permanent move. I love you, see you soon!" I smile at Charli's voice and hang up the phone. I finish putting a bunch of clothes in a bag and pick up the heavy bag. I set it by my door where there are more things like makeup, perfume, etc. Oh yeah, I'm moving into the hype house for a few weeks and not a single sway boy knows. Just the hype house. I pick up my bags and walk to the front door. I can't just leave without an explanation. I put down my bags at the door. I grab a pencil and pen and run up to Jaden's room. Everyones out in the back swimming, so I know he wasn't in there. I write a note explaining everything. I went to the door and everyone's standing by my bags. Except for Jaden. "What the hell?" Josh looks at me and I look down at the ground. "Just let me go. I'll be back soon.  It isn't forever." Josh stops me from walking to the door. "What happened? Did we do something wrong?" I shake my head, "No! No! Of course not." I look at all the boys and they look sad. I really had no idea I had such an impact on them. I hug them all and then I hear Jaden, "Guys, have you seen Y/n?" he says kind of worried. He turns the corner and sees me and I sigh. Everyone leaves and goes outside to the pool. "Why didn't you just tell me in person? We could work it out a different way." I shake my head, "I'm sorry. We have to do it this way. We're fighting too much and it's so much stress on the both of us. You know that. I don't want you to start coping with pills again." He shakes his head, "What? No! I promised you I would never use them again." I nod, "I know but those kinds of promises are hard to keep because it's just a habit to go do it." He groans, "But I made the promise with you. You are what's helping me break the habit. Not the promise. I think of it then I remembered I promised you." I sigh, "Jaden, you have to see where I'm coming from, though. I mean, you understand right? It isn't forever and some space from each other could really help. Maybe we're around each other too much." He nods, "Okay, yeah. I trust your decision."  It's silent for a few, "Are we... breaking.. up?" His voice cracks and tears up, which makes me tear up. I pull him into a hug. "God no. I'm doing this before things get worse because I don't want to break up." He nods, "Okay. You can do it, I agree with you." I smile. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." He smiles, "I won't even touch another girl. Not even Mads." I smile and hug him tighter and then let it go. I open the door and grab all the stuff and he calls my name, "Y/n, I love you. Forever." I smile as tears rush down my cheeks "See you later, Jaden. I love you forever too." He smiles and I shut the door. 

I go to my car and put all the bags in and sit in the driver's seat and break down. Charli calls me and I answer it and put it on my Bluetooth radio, "Hey. You almost here? Hollywood fix will be here in about an hour. They were just here and we told them to. leave and they promised they would come back in an hour exactly." I sigh, "I don't know if I can do this Charli." My voice breaks as tears flow down my cheek.  "If you really don't feel like it's right then don't come. In my opinion, you need this. But I can't force you to do this. If you're going to be here, do it soon before Hollywood fix comes and spreads it around and makes up rumors about you and Jaden." I sigh. "I'll be there soon." I hang up and start driving. While my music is on shuffle, Comatose comes on and I feel so broken even though he isn't gone. I could go back right now and he'll still there for me and will respect my decision. He's so supportive and I love that so much about him. No matter how much I want to turn the car back around, I know it's the wrong thing to do. Sure I won't be with him everyday but later, we'll both thank myself for doing this. 

"Welcome to the Hype House!" Nick says opening the door. "Thank you." I smile and he looks at me in the eyes. "You okay? You don't look good." I nod, "Yeah I was just crying the whole way here." He nods and frowns, "Let me take you to Kouvr. She can clean up the redness in the eyes and puffy face. She has this like rolley thingy that is cold and feels nice and relaxing." I smile and he starts walking so I follow him. "Here," He opens a door. "Kouvr, she's been crying for a while. Help her out." She smiles at me and turns her phone off. She comes over to me and wipes my tear-stained cheeks. "Okay." Nick closes the door when he leaves the room and she brings me to her bathroom. "Did anyone show. you where you're sleeping?" I shake my head as she rolls in a desk chair from her room to the bathroom. I sit down and she grabs that rolley thing Nick was talking about earlier out of her mini-fridge. "I am not positive, but I think you'll stay in Charli's old room. She doesn't live here anymore but she visits almost every day. When she does comes she uhm... she sleeps in Chases room. Don't tell that to social media though." She laughs and I nod. "She's on her way to settle you in." I smile. She grabs a towel and wets it and wipes my face in the cold water. "Don't alarmed, but this facial roller will be very cold but it feels amazing. And it does amazing things" I nod and it is very cold. She rolls it all around my face, but mainly under my eyes. "Can I ask why you moved here? Charli didn't tell anyone but Chase. I shrug, "Just stressed." She nods, "I'm sorry." I smile. "It's fine, really." 

"I'm back!" I turn around to see Charli walk through the front door.  "Y/n!!" I smile and get up from the couch. "You've had a long day, let me show you your room." She smiles and I get my bags. She brings me to her old room and oh my gosh. It's so pretty. Doesn't feel give me a home vibe like when I first walked into my sway house room. "It's so pretty." I smile and set the bags down. "How long are you staying?" I sit down on the bed. "I don't know.. a month maybe. Not sure yet." She sighs. "Look, I know you hate hearing this," she sits down next to me. "But I really am sorry. But! I know this will help. You guys will be okay in no time. Just think of this like... a vacation with no baes." I look at her, "Shut up." She quickly says knowing I'll bring up Chase. "Okay, I'll let you unpack or sleep or whatever. I love you!" She says leaving. "I love you too," I say even though she left before I could say it. I get up and start unpacking and putting stuff in her huge closet and bathroom. I wast no time before I fall asleep when I was done everything. I did cry myself to sleep though. I know this was the right choice but I hate it.