Here's My Heart

chapter III

Nash POV
My arms burned and itched like hell as I ate my food. I played with a coin as I shoveled food into my mouth. I was told that it helped take your mind off of drugs so I tried it. So far it works enough to let me breathe.
I hated Nick for getting me into the drug business. I wish he would've just left me on the bench where he found me. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be flipping this damn coin in between my fingers! Everything in my life was shitty. It's why I hate bringing people into my life.
I stopped doing that shit after something bad happened. It made me realize that I needed to stop. Drugs were making me a horrible person. I hated myself for doing them but it was the guilt and anger that fueled the addiction. It made me mean and stuck up. I didn't want to be but being high is like being in the backseat. You're fucking useless.
My mind was racing with thoughts. The new girl had me acting different and I hadn't even realized it. I was actually interested in her. She seemed like she was hiding a lot of things. When I was walking with her and I noticed the scars on her arms she looked scared. It had me wondering what had happened to her to have her scared like that.
When I asked her about it she tried to cover it up and use her dad's job as an excuse. But I could see right through the lie that I had used so many times when people asked me where my father was. She surprised me when she blatantly told me why she really did move. She was trying to scare me away but I wasn't going to let her. I felt like I had to know what her story was. What had her so scarred that she would scare anyone off if they tried to get even remotely close to her?
I finished eating and washed the dishes before putting them in the strainer. I walked to my room and collapsed on the bed. My room wasn't special at all. It had a bed with a nightstand directly next to it. There was also a dresser pushed into a corner. That sums up my room. I looked around for a minute before I fell asleep.

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When I woke up it was the next day. I got up and took a cold shower. I got out after 10 minutes and threw on a pair of dark blue jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. I put my shoes on and realized I needed new ones. There was a hole in my toe that was the size of a quarter. I grabbed my bag and left my apartment. The smell of weed was strong as hell in the hallway of my apartment building and it scared me. I fought the urges off and blocked them out the best as I could. Once I got out of the building I started walking to school.
When I stepped into the school I wanted to be anywhere but there. I powered through as I walked to my first class of the day. Science wasn't my best subject because I couldn't ever find the interest in it. When will I ever need Newton's Laws of Motion?
"Hi class! Today we'll have new seats!" The teacher said in a perky voice. Everyone groaned as she began listing off names but I couldn't care less. "Laura and Alex" I stopped in my tracks and messaged Alex to meet me in the bathroom. When the teacher finally let us leave he looked at me in curiosity. We got to the bathroom and immediately he looks at me. "Why did you want me here dude?" He asks. "If you try anything on her I'll fucking kill you in the worst way possible." I said, my voice sounding deadly. "O-Okay." He said, clearly getting the message that I wasn't kidding.
I walked out of the bathroom, quickly composing myself. I looked out the window to see one of my friends smoking a blunt. I contemplated it before I walked out and greeted them. "Want some?" My friend Trey offered, holding the blunt out to me. I took it and they all cheered as though I'd never done it before. I inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke fill my lungs. When I exhale I can taste the weed and it's potency.
I walk back into class and the teacher looks at me with distaste in her eyes. After about 15 minutes I feel the high start to take over my body. My racing thoughts come to a screeching halt and my mind is completely clear. Being high is so fucking nice. It makes you free.
When the bell rang I packed my things up and as I was leaving the class the teacher stopped me. "What took you so long in the bathroom?" She asked, trying to act like she cared. Almost immediately the words fell out of my mouth and I couldn't do anything to stop them "none of your damn business! It's not like any of you teachers actually give a fuck about any of us! When we leave this hellhole will you ever think about us again!?" I snapped angrily.
I heard a small giggle from behind me and I turned around to see Laura. She looked fucking gorgeous. This was my first time truly admiring her beauty. She had one green eye and the other was a light brown with little splotches of green and her chocolate colored hair was up in a simple bun. She was wearing a white t shirt that had the Badflower logo on it and had a black sweatshirt on over it. Her pants were a light blue with painted pockets. They had a few band logos on each pocket. She paired that with some black converse. She was my type of girl music-wise.
     I walked out of the class and I was half way down the hall by the time she caught up to me. "Do you like what you saw?" She asked teasingly. "Indeed." I said with a wink. I was naturally flirty and everyone takes that as a sign that I want to sleep with them. Her cheeks started to turn a light shade of pink. She was clearly not used to this type of conversation.
     "I was staring at what you were wearing. You like punk music?" "Yeah. I love Badflower's song 'heroin'" she said with a grin. She's very observant, but I wasn't letting her know anything incase she decides to expose me. "I like the song 'hurts' by Nine Inch Nails." I said, looking down at her. she was about 5'5" and I was 5'11". She looked at me, pain flashing through her eyes. I knew I had struck something so I wasn't going to dig further right now.
     "What's your favorite band?" I asked her. "Shinedown," She said almost immediately. "What about you?" "Bring Me The Horizon." I said before realizing that I had the same class as her.
We took our seats on opposite sides of the room. She was sitting next to some girl named Alice Beck and they immediately jumped into a conversation. The class went by relatively fast because we had a sub who let us do whatever we wanted. At the end of the day I was heading out the door when Matt ran up to me. He was about 3 inches taller than me and he had dark hair and beautiful green eyes. I had drunkenly slept with him and after that we became friends and nothing more.
"Are you going to Kelly and David's party?" He asked with a grin. "I don't know-" he interrupted me, saying "You never turn down a party!" I nodded and he smiled happily. "What day is it?" "Friday." He said with the same smile.
When I got home I walked over to the cupboard and grabbed a granola bar. I ate it in two bites and threw the wrapper away. I sat down and started to watch T.V.. there was an accident a few streets away from here but I didn't care. I ended up falling asleep on the couch.

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When I woke up there were sirens wailing outside of my apartment. I got up and looked out the window. They were walking in and I figured they were here for me. They came up and knocked on my door. I opened it and they looked at me with judgement clear in their eyes. "Are you Nash?" They asked. "Yeah." I said, unbothered by them. I recognized one of the cops but the other one looked new. "We need you to come down to the station with us." The new one said. "Am I under arrest?" I asked sarcastically. "No. There's someone who requested to see you and they're very adamant about it." He said, clearly annoyed by my sarcasm. I could smell alcohol on his breath but I didn't say anything. I followed them and got in their cruiser.
When we got to the station I almost booked it. The last vehicle I wanted to see was only two cars away.
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A/N
Ahh! cliffhangers suck but it keeps me from fucking things up.
Hey My name is Jade and I wrote this book because I thought that a lot of people would relate to the characters. I created a playlist for this book.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/53sGHu1Io1Yofw7MCIjDIP?si=_BSNlu_8Q66bGpooLx0QVQ