𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕖

afraid|19

𝕒𝕝𝕖𝕩𝕒 𝕡𝕠𝕧

She actually found me. I'm glad she did. I still don't wanna get married, like that. But maybe change it up. Aiden was driving. I shipped those two so much. And they still didn't see how much they liked each-other. I mean of course Katie was with Ryan, but Ryan? Seriously?

"Does Spencer know?" I asked.

"No" Aiden replied.

"No one else does" Katie said, "Except for....uh Ryan" she added.

"Let's just hope he does the right thing for once, and doesn't snitch on us" Aiden said.

"Ohhkay" the rest of the ride was silent. Once we got back, we sneaked into our rooms as silently as we could.

𝕒𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕧

We dropped off Alexa to her room. I'm so relieved that we found her. Katie and I, both turned to look at each-other. Both as relieved as the other. I started walking beside her, towards her room. Spencer came running. "What happened?!" he yelled.

"We found her. She's ok" I said. He slowed down and stopped beside us, gasping for breath.

"Thanks" we smiled at him.

"Don't worry though" Katie said. Then Spencer walked off to check up on her.

𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕠𝕧

They found Lex. I can't express how grateful I am for friends like them. And how relieved I am for her being back. I walked up to her room. We couldn't sleep in the same room, cuz apparently we're not supposed to be together before the wedding? Lol. I knocked on her door. She opened the door. She was wearing my hoodie. Still too big for her. As soon as she saw me, she climbed on to me and wrapped her legs around me. Like a little kid, aw. I kissed her on her cheek.

"I missed you" I whispered.

"Me too" she pouted. I lay down on the bed and put her down beside me. I put the blanket over us and she rest her head on my chest. I put my arm around her waist. I slept with her, feeling her breaths, overlapping mine. It was all so silent. So peaceful. I wish it could be like this forever...

𝕒𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕧

Katie and I continued walking towards her room. I stopped at the door. She smiled at me.

"Goodnight" she whispered.

"Goodnight" I replied. She swiped the keycard, and turned the door knob as slowly and quietly as she could. She walked back inside and closed the door behind her. I still didn't walk away. Every single part of me, wanted to kick the door open, and hold her in my arms. But I knew I couldn't do that, no matter how much I wanted to. Ryan was her boyfriend, and I was her friend. I would never put her in a position like that. Because I was afraid, I'd lose her. Trying to make her mine, when all she needed was friend, outta me.

I leaned against the wall, and slowly sat down, my head in my hands. I stayed long enough, to hear Ryan's voice say - "I love you". Suddenly, I felt agitated, possessive of her. Like I couldn't take it anymore. But I didn't have the energy to fight my feelings. There was a silence. A few seconds later, "Will you marry me?" I heard him say. Alright, that's it. I couldn't take it anymore.

I fled down the hallway, desperately trying to find my room. 'Will you marry me?', the words distorting inside my head. I could almost picture him, down on one knee, holding her hand. And saying that. And then her, being surprised and saying yes to him. And them kissing. Goddammit I just can't. I finally reached my room, headed straight in and threw myself at my bed.

Why was I even feeling this way? Like I couldn't do anything, cuz I was afraid. Afraid that she didn't feel the same way. The last time, I took the risk. What if it didn't work out the same way this time? I was goddamned  afraid that I'd fuck up everything.

I was lying on my bed, my cheeks stained with tears. The blanket cold against my skin. I heard a knock on my door...