Blissful Distraction [Attack on Titan Fanfiction]

Survey Corps - Chapter 14: Armin

That night, I tried to sleep. I closed my eyes hopping the drowsiness will take over, but my active mind won't allow me.

I tried shutting my eyes. A feeling of uneasiness took over.

"Happiness doesn't exist."

I opened my eyes and tried a different position. Once again, I let my sleepiness take over.

"And even if happiness does exist, I will make sure you never find it."

I sat up, refusing to go to sleep with that voice in my head. After a while, I decided to get some fresh air.

I thought I would head for the roof again. If I refused to sleep, I might as well watch the stars.

When I saw Armin there, I began to wonder if it was just a coincidence this time.

He turned around and smiled at me while I walked up next to him.

"Are you up here every night?" I asked.

"No," he blushed. "Just sometimes."

"You know, you didn't have to leave whenever Jonathan shows up ," I said. "Just stay and I'll defend you."

He looked down at the stone. "I wouldn't want you to do that. I've always had to be protected. It's kind of embarrassing actually."

"It's fine," I replied. "My friends always kept me grounded because I can be slightly reckless at times with my words."

"I've noticed," Armin said.

"But now, I only have one friend left," I said.

"Make a new friend," Armin suggested.

"If you've seen my attitude, you should know that I don't necessarily get along with people," I said. "I don't even get along with Jonathan at times." I began to play with my bracelet again. The soft jingling sounds were music to my ears.

Armin noticed the bracelet. "Did Jonathan give that to you?"

"He did," I said. I began to receive memories of my childhood. It almost felt like false serenity. The emotions must have surfaced because Armin noticed.

"Did something happen?" Armin asked.

"You have got to be more specific," I said.

"When you were little," Armin replied.

"A lot of things," I sighed. "Things that I'm not comfortable bringing up. Not now."

"Okay," Armin said as he looked away. "It must have been a rough time for you, then."

"I'd like to forget about it one day," I responded, "but I think death might come before that ever happens."

We both fell silent as a breeze blew past us.

"Tomorrow's the day before the expedition," Armin said.

"How can I forget?" I smirked.

I thought that maybe fate would do me good on the expedition. Maybe life would finally escape me. Maybe it will be quick. But I was just being delusional.

"You are probably the most interesting person there is," Armin spoke up.

"And why is that?" I asked him.

"You don't really care about anything," he said. "That's hard to do when you're living in this world."

"But it sure takes a lot off your shoulders," I breathed in the cool, crisp air.

"I guess that's what I like about you," he smiled at me.

I turned to look at him. I couldn't help but smile back at him. It was a real genuine smile, something that I hadn't worn in a long time.