That's Why You Have Backup ~Chicago PD Fanfiction~

Chapter 13: Never Again

The gunshot rang in her ears. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there until she realized what had happened. It registered slowly at first, then, all at once. Erin thought her heart would jump out of her chest. Jay. His name repeated itself over and over in her head. She felt like she was moving in slow motion. She couldn't think. She couldn't move. She couldn't breath. She would never again see his smiling face looking over at her as she worked at her desk, pretending she didn't notice, and enjoy, his playful grin. She would never again hear him laugh at one of her I've-only-had-half-a-cup-of-a-coffee-so-don't-talk-to-me puns. She would never again smile at her doorstep reading his "did you get home safe, or should I come over there and check on you" text messages. And lastly, she would never feel his soft lips on her's as they shared their long anticipated moment. A moment that was once again an unreachable dream. The sobs wracked her body. The bitter, salty taste of her own tears filled her mouth. As the tears fell, she remembered a moment that had occurred a couple months before.

"You're sleeping with her" Erin said after watching the bartender for a moment.
Jay tried to act surprise. "What! No!"
"You're a horrible liar" Erin snickered. Jay stammered
"We played scrabble, like, once at her apartment"
"Shut up"
"That's it. That's all that happened"
"Shut up" Erin laughed. The bartender placed her drink on the counter and flashed Jay a quick smile. Once she was out of earshot, Erin turned to Jay. "She's cute." Jay rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink. After a moment, he spoke again.
"I'm going to need a place to crash until this all blows over" he commented lightly.
"Well, I think you're in luck, Olinsky's got room in his garage." Erin joked.
"Come on"
"Come on what?!"
Jay tried to speak as nonchalant as he could. "Can I crash with you?" Erin thought for a moment and glanced down at the bartender at the end of the bar.
"You gonna try and play scrabble with me too?" Jay rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help grinning. Erin laughed, then answered. "Yeah, you can."
"Thanks, I owe you one"
The flashback disappeared. Erin was again forced to face reality. He was gone. She couldn't bring herself to think it, but down in her heart, she knew. Because when that gunshot went off, a little piece of her died. A piece that could never be replaced. A piece that would change her life forever.