Mia

Chapter 24: Lost

I kissed Cambria. I couldn't stop myself. It was as if there was no way to fight my desire to feel her lips on mine anymore, and before I knew it, it happened. As soon as she kissed me back, every feeling I had was undoubtedly confirmed, along with some added butterflies. I'm so in love with her. The next thing I knew, Cambria pulled back and ran away, leaving me heartbroken. I went to bed that night, dreading that my actions may have cost me my best friend. I don't know what I am going to do?

My weekend was absolutely terrible. I'm too damn scared to text Cambria, fearing what her response could be. What if she wants nothing to do with me anymore...? The only thing I knew for sure was, this was my fault.

Monday

I was running terribly late today, as usual. My class had already begun when I finally made it to school. Before entering, I took a deep breath. I opened the door, and Mr. Chapel stopped his lecture. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I couldn't lift my head. I just made my way to my seat. When I sat down, I could already smell Cambria's perfume, which hurt my heart. I closed my eyes, doing my very best to get rid of all my feelings. I can feel her eyes on me. I don't know how or why, but I do.

Mr. Chapel continued on with his lecture after a few minutes, and eventually, he passed out our assignments for the day. I reached into my bag for a pen. As I was bringing up to my desk, my hand hit the chair, and the pen dropped. Seriously? You have got to be kidding me?!

I turned to pick my pen up, but I stopped as soon as I locked eyes with Cambria. It felt like I stopped breathing momentarily. By the gods, she's beautiful. I can't d-do this... It's too hard and hurts so much... I slowly extended my hand out towards her, hoping she would hand my pen back to me, but she seemed so lost. I really hope she is okay. I waited just a few more seconds before she nervously placed the pen back in my hand. I returned my focus to my assignment and left class as fast as humanly possible.

Tuesday

I woke up undergoing a mixture of emotions. I dreamt about Cambria and our kiss, which made me feel spectacular. Regrettably, I remembered real life—the life where I lost my best friend because I couldn't control myself. Due to my subconscious messing with the happiest moment of my life and teasing me with it, I didn't want to get out of bed. Why me?

So far, as each day passed from the moment of our kiss, I felt like I was slowly losing myself... primarily since Cambria and I haven't spoken a word since then. When I arrived at school, I noticed that she wasn't here. During the remainder of my day, Vivian wouldn't let up. She could tell I was alone and that Cambria wasn't here to protect me. She and her minions have been bullying me so much today. They have pushed me into the lockers, tripped me, called me derogatory names, and even dumped their lunches on me. It's going to get worse. I just hope I am strong enough to make it through this alone.

My day ended as I cried myself to sleep.

Wednesday

Today is quite literally the day from hell! Everywhere I turn, Vivian and her minions are there, messing with me. My anxiety and depression have been getting worse too. I was doing my very best to follow my therapist's advice, but... each minute was testing my limits. I feel like I am losing control.

I closed my eyes, trying my best to utilize the breathing techniques Dr. Williams advised me to do in times of need. I was walking in the direction of my A.P Photography class when I felt like I had a handle on my emotions. Suddenly, I was shoved harshly into a locker beside me by Vivian as her minions followed closely behind, like usual. I attempted to compose myself and forget about the pain, but I was interrupted when one of the minions tripped me, and I fell to the floor.