Not Just A Fan

Chapter 20

Nobody was home last night when she got in, as she went into her room recollecting what happened, as her mouth went dry and everything in her body craved for more. Everything in the world just stopped, and whatever happened before that night had all gone. The only thing she can think about if he will do it again.

As she makes her way to the studio, it got her thinking if she should ask, then hanging on and wait for it again. Ester decided to arrive early, hoping he would already be there. Without overdressing wearing her high waist denim skinny jeans and a black crop top t-shit with a rainbow printed on it. She never rushed so fast to get there, power walking her morning stride just to see his face.

Walking in making the door slammed hard, not knowing her strength, he had his arms leaning on the table thinking in his world, and the noise caught him. The v neckline fitted t-shirt sculpted to show his muscular body. She stood there, breathing heavily with anticipation in her eyes.

'Do it again.' Ester tells him, Drew stands straight getting a vibe on what she is asking, and he is not sure if he wants to. But as he stares at her with her exposed skin midway makes him want to touch her again.

'Do it again.' she repeats, this time with desperation. Drew rushes over, places his hand on her cheeks and kisses her deeply, she feels the compassion and returns following every move he does with his lips, Ester fears she will find it difficult to stand up and felt her legs go, it tasted just like last night, it was not a dream. Drew wanted this and is happy she wanted it again, for Ester to return, giving him a sense of rush he has not known for a while. But something horrible started to creep into his mind of the nightmare he had last night. As he thinks about it, he begins to feel the guilt and the hurt, and he pulls back angry at himself. As Drew went back to the hotel, he dreamt of Lucy, and she is crying with her make-up streaming down her face wearing a wedding dress screaming at him, "How could you?". The pain in her eyes made him wanted to torture himself of what he should not have done. As he thinks while being close to Ester, his inside voices came out.

'I can't.' and turns his back to Ester, 'I can't, I don't want to be hurt like last time.' his distress only makes her confused.

'I don't understand?' Drew rubs his hands on his face wondering if he will ever wake up. 'Drew, tell me.' she creeps up to him and gently touches his shoulder, which makes him suddenly withdraw.

'Don't.' he turns to her, 'I'm not doing this right now.' He goes past her and leaves the room. Ester eyes glass over, this hurt her more than anything, and it had not become anything yet. She falls to the sofa speculating if this has made it the final straw.

As he walks outside to the back, Drew places his head in his heads knowing how messed up in he is, and has now messed up her head too. It has been three years, but every night she is there lying in his arms happy and loved. When Ester came, Lucy became trapped inside this glass box and watches how Ester pulls him in without the hard effort. But he keeps looking in the corner of his eye watching Lucy wasting away, and sometimes he reaches but Ester bewitching him back. Ester is not the one to blame on how his feelings pulled to her, and if Lucy never existed in his life things would be different and maybe easy. If Ester did not enter his life, the feeling of isolation, and Lucy would be the only women he would think of. The guilt comes back when he thinks of her like that, and he can not find a way to let go.

Drew walks back in and sees Ester sitting there sad.

'You're still here?' he says surprised, she looks at him and wipes the tears off her face.

'Do you want me to go?'

'No. I want you to stay.' he comes by and sits next to her, 'I have something going on personally, and I don't want to bring you down with them.'

'I don't think you are.'

'The last thing I want to do is upset you.'

'It's fine, really.' she lies, as there is something and she decides not to give up on him. Drew is doing something to her that she is finding hard to describe, and she wants to be near him.

'Whatever you think I need you more than ever, but right now I need to have the time and breathing space to do so.' he reaches over to hold onto her leg,

'Can you tell me? Would it be better?'

He shakes his head, 'No, it wouldn't be right.'

Ester places her hand on top of his, 'Whenever you want to, I will listen.' Drew got frightened as she had no anticipation of leaving, another person that decided not to turn away. So, this is the women he wants to save him.

That kiss meant more to him and almost believed that she is saving his life of the depression and dark thoughts that he has processed in his head for a long time. To be coming back up to the surface has become a new mental level that he is scared of going through. He gazes at Ester for most of the day, and he wants to say he is sorry, and does not want her to think he is doing this just to have some fun. Almost becoming a new sense of love, and his heart is starting to see the light again.

She almost does not want to believe this is real, and it must be some sort of parallel universe, there is no way he could fall for a women like her. She deems that a blonde model by his side would suit better, she remembers him having one a couple of years ago, but she is not one to read about his personal life. It is all about the music in her eyes.

Her head was all over the place in band practice, as these feelings he has made her curious on why he can not talk to her. What made him stop kissing her? There must be someone else, this is now making her except Brad more, or to believe too. Ester deems that she is not Drews type or even in his world, maybe he just wants some fun, and she seems to be the opportunity. The way Brad got jealous made her realize he does care about her and never seen that side on him. It was her time to forgive for how she reacted.