Blessed with a curse. (Ben Mason/Connor Jessup.) Falling Skies

Chapter 15- Confessions in the snow

It's been about 21 days lying in this hospital bed. I was fine about a week later but Ben had told Anne I needed to stay till she thought I was 110% fine and fit for moving. I knew he cared but I didn't know that much. I mean, he had always been there and I had treated him like rubbish. It seemed like he didn't care, but he did. 

I had proved my big brother wrong. He had always said I'd never have faith in boys again. And to be honest, I truly believed him until Ben came along and then he changed everything, he just brought myself out of my shell. I just never imagined he would take notice of me. But I should've known he wasn't like that when I first met him. As my Grandma use to say 'Don't judge something you don't know'  She'd always say that to my mum when Liam would bring girls home.. I understood my mum, She tried her best to be there but he just pushed her away like he did with everyone. I grew up doing the same thing I didn't want to know anyone, I hated everything. I grew up without a dad. I guess that pays a factor in it. But it doesn't, It was my mothers fault. The reason I didn't have a dad. She pushed him away, I guess that's where Liam followed. It hurt seeing him upset everyday and he became more distant. He just didn't bother smiling for a while. It was like he was a ghost in everything. He didn't leave the house for 3 months. He pushed everyone out of his circle to save himself. But he ended up hurting others in the process. I always tried to bring him back. There were days when I had my big brother back, he would be smiling and laughing. But it was like a click in his mind. He would just have a straight face like he didn't care anymore. He changed. Then this take over happened. It was like he changed back. He dragged me out of the house and promised me that we'd be ok. It would be us two and we would fine company that would help us. He was right. But he won't see Dan or Natasha grow up. He won't witness the success that the 2nd Mass will achieve.

"Hey, I think that your ready. You can go back to your normal bed but please come back for check ups" I nodded and grabbed my stuff. Anne walked out of the room just as Ben walked in. 

"Anne, We had a deal. She's not fit enough." I pulled him out the hospital. 

"Ben, I'm fine, Just a little bump on the head. That's all. I'm good. Honestly. No worries, Just please accept that Anne let me out because she does know what she's doing." He looked at me and then walked off, clearly annoyed with what I just said. 

I saw Pope..I mean my dad walk through the crowd of people to get to me, He took my stuff off me and helped me carry most stuff to my room in which I would be sharing with Ben, I sat down on my bed and looked up at my dad. 

"How are-"

"Why didn't anyone tell me Liam had died? In the cross-fire? I found out 3 days later. Three days were everybody else knew apart from me. Giving me sympathy for something that I didn't know happened. Three days of people telling me 'it'll get better' and 'he's in a better place'" I could feel tears falling. "Three days in which my brother died. He didn't even know if I was alive. He just left me, Now I have to face this world in which my youngest siblings might not even make it. But you wouldn't know how that feels would you? Because 'Pope' always gets what he wants. No matter what" I stormed out leaving my real father stood there with tears in his eyes. 

I walked to the top of the roof and sat down, It was the place I relaxed and felt safe somehow, I watched snow fall from the sky and land on the floor. Watching how children still found some happiness in themselves to jump around, amongst the jumping children, Dan and Nat ran out followed shortly by Matt who then joined in jumping with the others, as the time went on the snow began to form a white blanket over the floor. I hadn't heard the door open but felt a presence beside me. I looked up and saw Hal sat down next to me. In a way it felt like Liam, for a while we sat there in complete silence. Not a weird one, a comfortable one. He didn't speak but I could feel what he was feeling, He didn't want to lose anymore people and losing Liam killed him. He finally had someone to talk to and this happened. He looked down at the snow and at the buildings. 

"How you coping?"He finally broke the silence.

"I don't know, I thought I could do it but it's just hard, I'll always want to run into his arms and tell him how many skitters I killed. I'll always want to show my achievements with him, share my birthdays, Dan will always want to run and show him what he's found.." I paused feeling a lump in my throat. " I can't be what everyone's expecting, I can;t suddenly turn into this mother figure for Dan and Nat, I can barely look after myself never mind two 7-8 year old's that need me 24/7. I don't want to fail them."Hal draped his arm around my shoulder pulling me towards him. 

"Look, I've been there. When my mum died, my dad wanted me to grow up fast. I was 17 and going from a stupid lacrosse player to someone fighting in a war. I still wanted to be a teenager, making mistakes but I couldn't. After Karen I realized that I did need to grow up. It took a lot of time to be more adult, I did it. It was hard,  I still make mistakes now, I mean look at Ben, he makes them all the time. He doesn't listen. That's his problem, He thinks he knows what's best for you. He doesn't, but just give him time. Trust me, Dan and Nat will need a sister figure more than a mother one. They'll need someone who is gonna be there when they make mistakes and not judge them for it. Someone who'll understand what they go through in the future. Be yourself, they'll need your more than someone who you think you need to be. I know that for a fact. And as for Ben. Just have patience, he'll realize he's being a idiot, and both of you will figure what you want. Just give it time." I smiled at him, he truly was like Liam in every way. He had made mistakes before but that didn't stop him. He learned from them and moved on. 

"And here's me thinking that Hal Mason was just a jock, but in all seriousness thank you." He chuckled and shook his head.

"It's not problem, but come on. I'm freezing and you look like an ice woman. Let's get some food" He stood up and pulled me with him.

Yes Liam died. But he didn't in a way he was in Hal, I finally had someone I could talk to about anything. I could trust him with my life and I wad grateful for it. It felt like everything was coming together, after everything had fallen apart. 

~~

It's been a while since I've updated..I'm sorry but year 11 is taking over my life. I'm being given paperwork left, right and centre, plus I have to search for colleges and I've not been writing as much. I've not have the time and it didn't feel right after everything that's happened recently. 

But it's coming up to February break and I will be uploading in that break. I know that for sure. 

I really hope you like this chapter.

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~Megan