Niall Horan Imagines

Pain

trigger warning : commit suicide, self harm ( If you don't want this type of story you may proceed to next chapter :> )

before i start this story, i just wanted to tell you this is based on true story, actually my story.. i will just add something to involve with Niall... the rest will be based on experience. i just want to share this and i hope at the end of this story you will learn something or realize something.

if you are experiencing depression, pain, heartbreaks, close to killing yourself please message me and i'll try to help you... please don't keep it inside. I'll be here. i'll listen...

So let's proceed to the story....

Flashbacks

2016... I'm 13 years old and currently in grade 7th. My life wasn't like you are expecting. Things aren't good with my family. It's all a mess. At first I was doing fine, don't really care about what's going on around me. But months has passed, my mom and dad's fight are getting worse everyday.

I want to stop hearing it anymore. I'm so tired. I will go home from school only to find them not okay and ignoring each other. What hurts the most is my dad only go home for few months because he works on abroad.

He only go home sometimes but they will just fight. It hurts my head. Going home from school only to witness them hating at each other. It's too much. I can't handle this anymore.

One day, I found myself holding a razor inside the bathroom. Staring at it for so long then suddenly a tear slipped from my eyes. I didn't notice I started crying. I stayed quiet as much as possible so no one will hear me.

With a spilt seconds I slid the razor on my wrists letting the blood run down to my wrist. I keep sliding it until it hurt no more. I hid the razor in my wallet. I cried and cried. I don't know what to do anymore.

'Lord i'm sorry i can't do this anymore. take me please.' i whispered.

After staying at the bathroom for 30 minutes, I stood up and carefully wash my wrist even though it hurt a little. I then slipped my bracelets to cover it. I wiped my tears and put a smile on my face.

'we have to act okay again.' i whispered again. I sighed and opened the door. No one was in the living room so i went straight to my room. I laid down and was just staring at the ceiling.

I slept to forgot everything for awhile and ready to face school again with my happy side. I can't show my friends I'm miserable. I don't want them to worry on me or thinks that I'm only overacting. No one will understand me anyway.

The next day, I went to school wearing my uniform with my hoodie to hide my wrist. As soon I stepped inside the school I smiled and pretended that everything was fine.

"Hey Babe" Leigh said. I smiled at her. "You okay?" She asked. I was hesitating if I will answer the truth or not. "Yeah ofcourse" I said.

Leigh is my bestfriend. She's been there ever since I transferred to the university. She's very kind and sweet. I trust her but sometimes I refused to talk or tell her something about what's happening on me because I know she's having problems too. I don't want to bother.

"If you want to tell me something, I'm here I'll listen okay?" She said with concerned on her voice. I only nodded because for sure I will ended up crying in front of her.

Months passed, I will still go to school acting okay but behind myself I'm struggling. I'm so weak. I've been hurting myself for months now. Leigh found out about it and of course she got mad but she understood me and just keep telling me to stop doing it. I will always tell her I will stop but at the end of the day I will still do it.