Endlessly (Lisrene)

Ch. 34

Lisa's POV

"So are you going to tell me now?" Again, I still need to lie. I know Chaeng doesn't deserve any of this. She deserves to know the truth but I choose not to. I don't want to complicate things, that's why I will say this even if it's a lie.

"I...I cheated on Joohyun" I said then I closed my eyes. Fuck!

"You what?!" She stood up frowning

"Keep your voice down"

"You said you cheated on Irene and you want me to lower my voice and calm down, yeah? What is wrong with you? Why did you cheated on her? Who are you?" Fuck it! I'm such an idiot. Can't I have a better idea? The fuck I was thinking ugh!

"I know. And...and I know I disappointed you bu..."

"Does anyone knows about this?" Oh crap!

"N..no. Just you" I lowered my head. I hate it that I lied about it. But I can't really tell them now, not with anyone.

"And you want me to hide it too, aren't you? Of course I'm your bestfriend I will keep it. Your dirty little secret will be safe, if that's what you're worried about. Don't worry I'm gonna keep it" She mocked. I shouldn't said that but I did. And now I'm going to deal with this fucking idea the entire time. "Who are you? I don't even know you anymore"

"I don't know"

"You hate cheaters but have you hated yourself for this? I hope you do. Because I hate you without explaining but I don't need to hear your explanation. Cheaters don't deserve it. But I'm not that stupid for me to think that you cheated on her" She laughs, My eyes widened

"W..what are you talking about?"

"I'm your bestfriend Lisa. I know when you're lying. You might be good at keeping secrets but I know when you lie. If you're not ready to talk about it, I won't force you. I can see how hard it is for you, but I just want you to know...You're not alone, you have your sisters, friends, Irene and me" She tap my shoulder before hugging me.

"Aren't you mad?"

"I'm not mad, a little bit upset but I understand now. As I've said, it's must be hard on your part to tell it. Because as far as I remember you tell me everything, but now maybe not everything" She lowered her for at the last part but enough for me to hear it

"I know, and I'm sorry"

"No, no. It's totally fine, but please do tell me whenever you're ready, yeah? " How can I be this lucky? I don't deserve any of this. And she was right, I'm selfish. I really am, but it's okay to be selfish than hurting them.

"Yeah" I whispered

"You're crying, are you okay?" Chaeng wiped my tears away. I didn't realized I was crying

"I'm not but I'll be fine" I pulled her into a tight hug "Just hug me please? It... it hurts so bad Chaeng" I sobs.

"Shhhh...I'm here, I'm here, you're okay" Her voice cracked too. "Whatever you're going through, I know someday it'll be fine. You'll be fine, you're Lisa, my Lisa" She whispered.

My mind is really messed up, I've been thinking about what will happen if I die. I can't bare to see them crying because of me, I don't want them to see me hurting or dying. They're my strength, if I see them crying over me or hurting...I don't think I can make it, that's why I can't really tell them. It's better this way, specially to Joohyun. So if I die, atleast they knew how happy I was to be around them, they will remember all the good memories not watching me suffering from death.

"But can you promise me one thing?" I asked as I open another beer

"Sure. What is it?"

"Remind Joohyun how much I love her...Tell her how important she is to me...Make her feel better...I know in the future I'll be the one she needs, but if I won't be there...can you do that for me?"