first. | Ateez San

Part X

People always say your last year of school is supposed to be your best. But, I couldn't help but count the days until it was all over. Classes became a blur since I never cared about them, and my 15 minutes of fame was slowly ticking away. I wanted to leave everything behind as soon as possible. And that was my plan since the beginning, until some random boy came into my life. It felt like he was physically attached to my hip and no matter how hard I tried to pry him off, he'd remain there. It was confining to be loved so dearly. When I said I wanted people to never forget me, I meant that I wanted them to remember how I made them feel. And if I made everyone here feel so terribly about themselves, then that means I could abandon the city easily. I just wanted to be the bitter taste that was left in people's mouths no matter how hard they tried to wash it down. Yet, he still finds me sweet. Why was he trying to ruin my plans of leaving? Why would anyone want to spend their time with someone as ruthless as me? And most importantly, why bother putting in so much effort into someone who gives in so easily? San was the biggest idiot I've ever met. Leaving him behind would be twice as satisfying. But, I'm grateful that he's keeping me entertained while I'm still here. It was his third date of the week and he had just updated me on it.

"She's not the one," he texted.

"Then, try again," I replied.

"Can you open the door?"

When I read the message, I quickly got up to let him in. He stood at the door, dressed nicely with a button up and a blazer. I didn't expect him to come here immediately after the failure of his date.

"This is stupid," San said, frustrated. He walked past me and leaned back on the couch.

"Yeah, your blazer is way too big for you," I teased while walking towards him, shutting the door behind me.

"I meant going on dates with a bunch of girls is stupid. And quit making fun of my body proportions." He pouted.

"I'm not making fun of you. You're just my type, San," I said while pulling him in for a hug.

"Then, be my girlfriend."

"I'm not looking for a relationship." I pulled away and stepped back.

"Then, what do you want?"

"I want your first time to be special."

"I already did it with some random girl. It's too late to make it special." He sighed.

"What was wrong with your date this time?"

"She wasn't you."

I stared at him as he looked back shyly.

"Shouldn't that be a good thing?" I reasoned.

"Look, I don't need to get a girlfriend. I'm just a normal guy who wants to have sex and you love it anyway so why can't we just do it?"

"So, if we were to have sex, you'd be okay if we just did it once then forgot each other?"

"Totally."

"But, I don't want to forget you," I said while looking up at him. I grabbed his hands and watched as his eyes grew bigger.

"San, I think I might be in love with you. I was too scared to say it before but now I can't hold back the feeling any longer."

"Oh my god, Sun Hee. You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that. I love you too." His voice grew louder and more excited while his smile widened. I had never seen so much happiness in one person. I started to laugh.

"See? That's why we can't have sex." I released my grasp on his hands.

"Wait, were you just lying?"