first. | Ateez San

Part XVIII

You would think things between Seonghwa and I would have become tense. But no, everything went back to normal after that day and it has been weeks since it happened. I guess we were always like that. We tried to move past things we didn't like quickly. Oh, and it turns out, he was right. I tried forcing myself to fall in love with him subtly but I just couldn't. He always somehow manages to be right in the end. Luckily, he wasn't too phased after his rejection though. Well, if he was, then he did a good job hiding it. Still, even if I wasn't in love with him, I did enjoy talking to him.

"Hey, Seonghwa. Can I ask you a question?" I asked in the midst of the darkness of our bedroom.

"Hmm?" he groggily replied.

"Are you sure you never loved Jin Ha?"

"Why are you asking? Are you hoping that I'll intervene on their relationship?" He was suddenly wide awake and turned his entire body to me.

"It just doesn't make sense to me how you could be with someone for so long and still feel nothing," I admitted.

"We've been with each other for a while and you still feel nothing towards me," he stated.

"But, I think it's true that I could see myself falling for you. If I hadn't met San, I think we definitely would've been a couple."

"Well, I guess that's the same with me and Jin Ha. Maybe if I tried a little harder I could've loved her. And maybe if I never met you then we'd still be together."

"So, we both fucked each other up?" I joked.

"We fucked everything up." He laughed back. I paused for a moment when I realized that we could've just made things simpler back then so we wouldn't have to suffer so badly now.

"I want ice cream," I said, trying to change the subject.

"It's the middle of the night."

"Convenience stores are still open."

"Then, go get some ice cream." Seonghwa turned his body back into his pillow to go back to sleep. I sighed but proceeded to grab his hoodie to go walk down to nearest one. I made my way over to the freezer aisle to get a carton of strawberry ice cream until I saw a man blocking the door.

"I guess we all have our cravings," I joked, trying to make small talk.

"Yeah, nothing like some mint chocolate after a long day," he joked back, grabbing his pint. I should've recognized sooner.

"San?"

When the man turned to face me, his face immediately dropped.

"Hey, Sun Hee," he answered, awkwardly.

"I didn't expect you to be here," I replied.

"I was just on my way home from work and was craving some ice cream. I didn't know you lived around here."

"Yeah, I moved in with Seonghwa awhile ago."

"That's good to hear."

We both stood there uncomfortably, not knowing whether or not we should keep the conversation going.

"Sun Hee-"

"San-"

We both interrupted each other.

"You go first," I insisted.

"I just want to say that I really hate the way we ended things," he admitted.

"I was about to say the same thing."

"Well, maybe we can catch up someday."

"Why not now?" I suggested, my heart quickening at the thought of spending time with him.