first. | Ateez San

Part XII

It was the final days of school. People were cramming in their exams and freaking out on what they wanted to do next. Even though I didn't know what I wanted to do either, I wasn't as panicked as everyone else. All I wanted to do was leave, so I guess I'll just go wherever I feel like.

Since the news of San and Jin Ha, all the gossip has died down. Maybe it's because we all matured over the past few weeks, or maybe it's because there's nothing new to talk about anymore. Everyone was just minding their business, trying to pass whatever test they had that day. When the bell rung, I sprinted out as fast as I could. I've resumed my position of being a part of the outcast. I dug my own grave when I tried messing with Jin Ha. But, I didn't care. Less friends meant less annoyances. As I got on the bus, I saw San sitting alone in the back. My first thought was to ignore him, but when I walked past him, his head was down and I heard him sniffling. I wanted to pretend I didn't hear anything. I didn't say anything to him, but I sat down in the chair beside him. He looked up and we made eye contact, but neither of us muttered a word.

"You don't look very happy," I finally spoke. He didn't reply.

"Did you fail an exam or something?" I tried to continue.

"I hope not," he answered.

I nodded then looked straight ahead, not knowing what else to say.

"Sun Hee, can I ask you something?"

I looked down at him as he stared up with tearful eyes.

"Sure."

"What part of me did you not like?"

"What?"

"There's something wrong with me, isn't there?" His voice sounded pained.

"There's nothing wrong, San." I giggled.

"Then, why can't I ever compete?"

"What are you talking about?" I suddenly got concerned.

"You and Jin Ha. You guys will always pick Seonghwa over me." He threw his face into his hands.

"Jin Ha's a bitch." I mocked.

"No, she's not. She's perfect."

"I'm going to go beat her up." I got up to walk out until San grabbed my arm.

"Please, don't. It's not her fault that she's in love with someone else."

I stared at him and my heart broke. I never felt pity for others until I saw someone else break them.

"You don't have to compete with anyone, San. Trust me when I say you're great the way you are."

"Then, tell me what does he have that I don't?" His voice grew louder and people were starting to stare.

"We should talk someplace else," I said.

"I don't think we should be alone together," he admitted.

"Do you want me to make a list of your flaws and send it to you then?" I teased, but he didn't find it funny.

"Fine, let's go to your house," he suggested.

"No, I want to go to yours. I haven't seen it yet."

"There's not much to see."

"Then, it can't be that bad, can it?"

He sighed then nodded his head.

When we got to his apartment, it was much emptier than I thought. It was small with only one mattress in the middle and the rest of the bare necessities.