first. | Ateez San

Part XI

I stopped going to school for a while. I begged my mom to let me stay home for a few weeks as I was too scared to see San again. I didn't want to have to face him after our last fight. My mom didn't hesitate to let me recover on my own terms. For the first few days, San tried visiting me at night, but I didn't open the door once. He kept blowing up my phone, but the messages slowly started to die down. I think he was finally understanding what I told him that day before he left. I was a manipulator just like all the men who had hurt me. I was no better than them. And San is a hopeful boy, clinging on to whoever gives him attention. I could see my former self in him.

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to go back. If I hadn't, who knows when I would be able to graduate. But, I didn't expect the school to be so calm without me. It was almost as if everyone was better off that way. When I walked into the bathroom, I noticed my name scribbled out. I wasn't as popular as I thought I was. Who knew 2 weeks was all it took to completely forget about me? As I walked out, a group of girls came up to me.

"Are you and Jin Ha sister wives or something?" one of them asked. I looked at her with confusion as they all laughed and walked away. I brushed off their words and I went the whole day living in silence. It was how my life was before I meant San and it was easier this way. By the looks of it, I thought my day would be completely normal. That is, until the end of the day when I saw a group of kids huddling in a circle. They were all riled up and I pushed my way to the front. When my eyes finally adjusted, I saw Seonghwa sitting on top of San, beating the absolute shit out of him. The day I returned, the world resumed its madness. Maybe I wouldn't be as easily forgettable as they wanted me to be. I saw Jin Ha running in, trying to break the two apart. Seonghwa immediately pushed her out the way, and a group of boys ran to save her. It was kind of funny seeing her tossed away like that.

"Aren't you going to do something?" some random kid asked me.

"Why don't you do something, idiot? Doesn't seem like my problem," I replied. I was tempted to walk away until I saw how bloodied San's face was becoming. I was cruel, but not that evil.

I quickly ripped off my backpack to swing at Seonghwa's head. He turned his head towards me, his eyes full of anger.

"Look who's finally back," he said while smirking. San looked up at me, his face almost unrecognizable now.

"What the fuck happened while I was gone?"

"Why don't you ask this little home wrecker here?" Seonghwa looked back down and was ready to throw another fist until I kicked him in the stomach. San finally had the chance to get away now. Jin Ha came running back, grabbing San's hand and dragging him away from the crowd.

"You're gone for two weeks and your little boyfriend already wants to cheat on you," Seonghwa said nonchalantly as if he wasn't just beating San up a few moments ago. The crowd was starting to disperse now that the fight was over. I sat down next to him and slapped him out of anger. All he did was smile back. Who knew he was sadistic and a masochist all in one?

"I'm going to need a lot more context, dick head," I spat.

"You went a full day without finding out?"

"Can you just be not annoying for once and tell me?"

"San and Jin Ha are the new hottest thing now apparently."

My eyes widened but I quickly tried to hide any emotion.

"I was about to ask Jin Ha out again but then she told me she's with someone. Once I found out it was that little prick, I couldn't handle it anymore. He's taking everything away from me." Seonghwa sounded hopeless.

"You can't just beat someone up because they're dating someone you broke up with, stupid," I scolded before slapping the back of his head.

"Aren't you even just a little upset?"